What Happens in London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck?
The complete story of London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck, from the first scene to the last, in 278 words (about 1 minute). Spoilers throughout. Names in the text link to 1 cast member page.
Spoilers ahead
The performance begins with a skit where London Hughes gives herself a pep talk while receiving oral sex. Once on stage, she discusses her lack of sexual activity since moving to America due to the pandemic, as well as the societal pressure to be in a relationship as she approaches her 30s. She reflects on her family history, noting that her mother dropped out of the Olympics after becoming pregnant at age 18, and shares her own thoughts on motherhood.
London Hughes reveals that her extensive full name—London Dionne Micha Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes—was a collective effort by her family members. She describes her transition from being unpopular in school to gaining sexual experience after moving to the seaside at 14. Her professional history is equally eclectic; she was once fired from an adult chat program called Babestation after starting a segment focused on her feet, before eventually becoming a presenter for the children’s network CBBC.
Throughout the set, she shares various sexual anecdotes, including a relationship with a man with a foot fetish who attempted to reclaim his gifts after she discovered he was having an affair. She admits an attraction to skinny white men and recounts a partner who requested roleplay based on Fifty Shades of Grey. After discussing the gender double standards regarding the sexual success of comedians, she concludes with a story about a date with an investment banker. During the date, the man suffered a violent vomiting episode due to methadone usage for a heroin addiction. Despite the incident, he attempted to continue kissing her at his home, leading her to leave; he ultimately paid her £300 for a taxi ride back home.
London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck Timeline: Every Key Event in Order
16 key events in the order they happen, from “Opening Skit: The Pep Talk” to “Escaping the Disastrous Date”. 5 events name a place, across 4 locations.
- 1
Opening Skit: The Pep Talk
The special opens with a skit in which Hughes gives herself a pep talk while a man performs cunnilingus on her. This provocative opening immediately sets the frank, comedic tone of the show.
- 2
Sexual Drought Since Moving to America
On stage, Hughes talks about her lack of sexual activity since moving to America, a consequence of the pandemic. She uses this personal dry spell as a running theme for her comedy.
Where:America
- 3
Pressure to Be in a Relationship
Hughes discusses the feeling of pressure to be in a relationship as she enters her 30s. She reflects on how societal and personal expectations around romance intensify with age.
When:Her 30s
- 4
Generational Stories of Sexuality
Hughes recounts her grandmother and mother's sexual activity as part of a generational theme. Her mother notably dropped out of the Olympics when she became pregnant at the age of 18.
- 5
Thinking About Having a Baby
Building on her family's history, Hughes talks about the idea of becoming pregnant and having a baby. She weighs her own desires against the patterns she has observed in her family.
- 6
The Story Behind Her Full Name
Hughes explains that members of her family, including her two older brothers, each contributed a name to her full name: London Dionne Micha Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes. The story offers insight into her large, lively family.
- 7
Unpopular With Boys at School
Hughes recalls being unpopular with boys during her school years. Her fortunes changed when she moved to the seaside at the age of 14, opening a new chapter in her romantic life.
When:Age 14 Where:The seaside
- 8
First Sexual Experiences
After her move, Hughes began to have sexual experiences and shares them candidly on stage. She talks about oral sex, the man's perineum, and the stereotype of the large black penis.
When:Age 14 Where:The seaside
- 9
Fired from Babestation
Hughes began her career hosting Babestation, an adult chat programme. She was fired just a few weeks in after beginning a segment focused around her feet and shoes.
- 10
Presenter on CBBC
Her next job was as a presenter on CBBC, a children's television programme. The jump from adult entertainment to children's_tv highlights the eclectic path of her career.
Show the other 6 events of London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck Hide the last 6 events
- 11
The Foot Fetish Boyfriend
Hughes dated a man with a foot fetish who bought her shoes during their relationship. But after they broke up, when Hughes found evidence of him having an affair, he asked for all the shoes back.
- 12
Fifty Shades Roleplay
Hughes says that she is attracted to skinny white men. She describes a man who asked her to do roleplay as characters from the film Fifty Shades of Grey, which she mines for comedic detail.
- 13
Comedians and Double Standards
Hughes describes a difference in the perception of comedians along gender lines. She notes that men are considered sexually successful while women are not given the same treatment.
- 14
Advocating for Facesitting
As part of her frank discussion of sexuality, Hughes advocates for facesitting. The bit reinforces the unapologetic, sex-positive spirit of the special.
- 15
The Investment Banker's Violent Vomiting
Hughes ends with a story about going on a date with a rich investment banker. In a park, he suddenly began vomiting violently as a result of methadone usage, taken to treat his heroin addiction.
Where:Park
- 16
Escaping the Disastrous Date
After they taxi back to his house, he briefly used the bathroom and then tried to continue kissing her. Hughes left the house, and he gave her £300 for the short taxi ride back home.
Where:His house
Quiz
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