What Happens in London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck?
The complete story of London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck, from the first scene to the last, in 287 words (about 1 minute). Spoilers throughout. Names in the text link to 1 cast member page.
Spoilers ahead
The performance begins with a skit where London Hughes gives herself a pep talk while receiving oral sex. Transitioning to her stand-up set, Hughes discusses her lack of sexual activity since relocating to America, citing the pandemic as a primary cause. She explores the internal and external pressures of entering her 30s while remaining single.
Hughes delves into her family history, mentioning her mother, who left the Olympics after becoming pregnant at 18, and the origin of her extensive full name, which was a collaborative effort by her family and brothers. After reflecting on her unpopularity in school, she describes moving to the seaside at 14, where her sexual experiences began. She openly discusses topics such as oral sex and common stereotypes regarding black men.
Her career path is highlighted through a series of contrasting roles; she first hosted Babestation, an adult chat show—where she was fired after starting a segment about her feet—before moving on to present for the children’s network CBBC.
The set concludes with various sexual anecdotes, including:
- A relationship with a man who had a foot fetish and attempted to reclaim his gifts after she discovered his infidelity.
- Her preference for skinny white men and a request to roleplay scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey.
- Her observations on the gender gap in comedy, specifically how sexual success is perceived differently for men and women.
In a final story, London Hughes describes a date with a wealthy investment banker who suffered a violent episode of vomiting due to methadone use. Despite his struggle with heroin addiction, the man attempted to continue kissing her after a brief bathroom break. The encounter ended with her leaving his house and receiving £300 for her taxi fare home.
London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck Timeline: Every Key Event in Order
17 key events in the order they happen, from “Opening Skit: The Pep Talk” to “£300 Taxi Fare Home”. 5 events name a place, across 5 locations.
- 1
Opening Skit: The Pep Talk
The special opens with a comedic skit in which Hughes gives herself an encouraging pep talk while a man performs cunnilingus on her. This大胆 opening immediately sets the tone for the frank and humorous exploration of sexuality that follows throughout the show.
- 2
A Dry Spell in America
On stage, Hughes openly discusses her lack of sexual activity since moving to America. She attributes this extended drought directly to the pandemic, which put her dating life on an involuntary hiatus.
When:Since moving to America
- 3
Relationship Pressure in Her 30s
Hughes talks about the feeling of pressure to be in a relationship as she enters her 30s. She reflects on the societal expectations placed on women approaching this milestone age and how it weighs on her romantic outlook.
- 4
Her Family's Sexual History
Hughes recounts her grandmother and mother's sexual activity as context for her own experiences. Most notably, her mother dropped out of the Olympics when she became pregnant at age 18, showing how motherhood shaped the women in her family.
When:Mother's pregnancy at age 18
- 5
Contemplating Pregnancy
Hughes explores the idea of becoming pregnant and having a baby herself. She contemplates what motherhood would mean for her at this point in her life, following the stories of her mother and grandmother.
- 6
The Story Behind Her Full Name
Members of Hughes' family, including her two older brothers, each contributed a name to her unusually long full name: London Dionne Micha Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes. She walks the audience through the origins of each part of her name.
- 7
Teen Years at the Seaside
Hughes admits she was unpopular with boys during her school years. That changed when she moved to the seaside at the age of 14, where her romantic prospects began to turn around.
When:Age 14 Where:The seaside
- 8
First Sexual Experiences
After the move, Hughes began to have sexual experiences and shares candid stories about oral sex. She touches on the man's perineum and wittily tackles the stereotype of the large black penis with her signature humor.
- 9
Fired from Babestation
Hughes began her television career hosting Babestation, an adult chat programme. She was fired just a few weeks into the job after beginning a segment focused around her feet and shoes.
Where:Babestation
- 10
Moving to Children's Television
Her next job was as a presenter on CBBC, a children's television programme. The dramatic contrast between her adult chat show past and children's programming highlights the unusual path of her career.
Where:CBBC
Show the other 7 events of London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck Hide the last 7 events
- 11
The Foot Fetish Boyfriend
Hughes dated a man with a foot fetish who generously bought her shoes during their relationship. After they broke up—when Hughes found evidence of him having an affair—he asked for the shoes back.
- 12
Fifty Shades Roleplay
She confesses that she is attracted to skinny white men and describes a man who asked her to do roleplay as characters from the film Fifty Shades of Grey. The story highlights the bizarre requests she encountered while dating.
- 13
The Comedian Double Standard
Hughes describes a difference in how comedians are perceived along gender lines. She observes that male comedians are regarded as sexually successful, while women are not afforded the same reputation.
- 14
Advocating Facesitting
In one of the routine's standout moments, Hughes advocates for facesitting. She makes an enthusiastic and unapologetic case for the act as part of her broader celebration of female sexuality.
- 15
Date with the Investment Banker
Hughes ends with a story about going on a date with a rich investment banker. While in a park, he suddenly began vomiting violently as a result of methadone usage, which he took to treat a heroin addiction.
Where:A park
- 16
Awkward Retreat to His House
The pair taxied back to his house, where he briefly used the bathroom and then tried to continue kissing her. Hughes describes the grim and uncomfortable situation in the wake of his violent vomiting episode.
Where:His house
- 17
£300 Taxi Fare Home
Hughes left the house, cutting the disastrous date short. The investment banker gave her £300 for a short taxi back home—a fittingly absurd and generous end to the disastrous evening.
Quiz
How well do you remember London Hughes: To Catch A D*ck? Test yourself on the story.
