Getting Any? 1994

Asao, a naive and goofy man played by Dankan, lives with his grandfather in Saitama Prefecture. Although at 35 years old he is utterly inexperienced with women, he ached to have sex and believed the key to attraction was owning a flashy car. One day, after watching an erotic TV film, he convinces himself that a car is all he needs to win the attention of girls and rushes to the nearest car dealer.

In the film-within-a-film, the male lead owns a Porsche 911 Cabriolet, so Asao sets his sights on a luxury import showroom. The dealer asks what kind of car he wants, and he bluntly replies that he wants “a car for having sex.” He tests a cabriolet, aided by a friendly yet somewhat hapless hostess, but he immediately admits he is short on money. The best he can afford is a used domestic budget-car, forcing him to buy a Honda Today—an incredibly cheap kei car compared to the gleaming examples on display.

Back at home, Asao reenacts the scene with a female mannequin to practice his approach, then tries to replicate it with real women on the street. He quickly learns that real-life relationships aren’t as naive or simple as those in porn, and his failures mount. After several humiliating and unsuccessful attempts, he concludes that roadsters are the better route to cruising, even though they are out of reach financially. Desperate, he asks his grandfather for help, with a grim and shocking twist: he ends up selling his grandfather’s liver and kidneys to raise money.

With money in hand, he returns to the dealer, who pushes him toward a different path. The dealer initially convinces him to buy an Austin Healey Sprite MkI, but once he sees how little money Asao actually has, he pivots and sells him a Eunos Roadster (Mazda Miata), insisting it’s essentially the same car and a smarter choice for cruising. The new car barely holds together—after only a few meters it begins to fall apart—and Asao, frustrated, attaches the wrecked pieces to the back of the car in a perverse repair job.

Undeterred, he continues his quest to pick up girls, but his attempts remain fruitless, leading him to a garage-sale fate as he sells the wreck to a salvage yard. On his way home, he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned Mazda RX-7 Turbo and decides to steal it. He drives a short distance before encountering a young woman and attempting to strike up a conversation, echoing the erotic film, but the car’s brakes fail and he crashes into a billboard after striking the woman. He narrowly escapes serious injury and abandons the wreck.

His imagination then takes him on a new flight of fancy: airline stewardesses offering naked “on-board sex service” to first-class passengers, so he resolves to travel by plane—though money remains a barrier. His plan turns toward crime: an armed bank robbery. To arm himself, he travels to Kawaguchi City, near Tokyo, to obtain a weapon by creating a revolver in a local iron foundry.

What follows are a string of misadventures, including joining the yakuza, taking on the persona of Zatoichi, acquiring invisibility, and even transforming into a giant fly-man reminiscent of The Fly. The film culminates with his capture after he dives into a large reservoir of feces. After the credits, a final scene shows Asao leaping around Tokyo as the fly-man before meeting a fatal end, impaled on Tokyo Tower.