What Is I Am My Own Woman About?
The premise of I Am My Own Woman in 303 words, with nothing given away. The full story follows below.
In a Berlin split by war, division, and the relentless push of history, the film weaves together archival footage and lyrical reenactments to create a portrait that feels both intimate and sweeping. The city itself becomes a living museum, its ruined streets and hidden corners echoing with the whispers of those who refused to disappear. Light and shadow play across scenes, capturing the stubborn beauty of a place that has survived oppression, reconstruction, and the quiet moments of everyday resistance.
At the heart of this tapestry is Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a trans woman whose life stretches from the darkest days of the Nazi regime to the hopeful uncertainty of a reunified Germany. As both subject and storyteller, she guides the audience through memories that are at once personal and universal, offering a voice that transcends the eras she has lived through. Younger and middle‑aged versions of her appear in dramatized vignettes, while the real Charlotte, observed in her later years, narrates with a calm, wry confidence that hints at both hardship and triumph.
Beyond her own journey, Charlotte cultivates a sanctuary for marginalized histories, curating a museum that celebrates the quirks and artifacts of a bygone gay subculture. Within its walls, objects and recollections mingle, illustrating how ordinary people can fashion spaces of belonging amidst political turbulence. Her relationships with figures like Herbert von Zitzenau and Jochen—portrayed with tenderness and complexity—underscore a community bound by love, resilience, and a shared desire to live authentically.
The film’s tone balances documentary rigor with poetic imagination, inviting viewers to linger on the textures of memory and the quiet strength of a life lived openly. It asks what it means to claim one’s identity in a world that constantly seeks to define it, and it celebrates the quiet revolutions that arise when individuals refuse to be erased.
What Happens in I Am My Own Woman?
The complete story of I Am My Own Woman, from the first scene to the last, in 530 words (about 2 minutes). Spoilers throughout. Names in the text link to 3 cast member pages.
Spoilers ahead
Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a trans woman, recounts incidents from her eventful life, aging into a storyteller who now runs the Gründerzeit Museum, a dream realized by living as a woman from the turn of the 20th century. The film dramatizes episodes from her life, with two actors portraying the younger and middle-aged versions of Charlotte while she appears in the role of the elderly narrator.
Born as Lothar Berfelde in Nazi Germany during World War II, the story follows an effeminate boy who finds solace in cleaning and dusting at the home of a benevolent great uncle. An early desire to live as a woman finds an outlet on a vacation to Eastern Prussia in the household of aunt Luise, a transgender man, who allows Lothar to try on female outfits and read The Transvestite by Dr Magnus Hirschfeld. Luise also respects the youth’s privacy when he is found having sex in the barn with a farm boy.
Back in Berlin, after the death of a great uncle, the young Lothar falls under the mercy of his brutal father. In a desperate bid to protect his mother and himself from punishments and threats, Lothar bludgeons his father to death, an act that leads to psychiatric evaluation and imprisonment. The defeat of Germany in the war and the Allied invasion eventually set him free. Wandering through the streets of Berlin, he narrowly escapes being shot as a deserter by German soldiers.
By 1946, Lothar identifies as a feminine being in a masculine body. He adopts the name Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, with “Charlotte” or “Lottchen” serving as variants of his identity, and Mahlsdorf referring to the Berlin district where she lives. She moves into the ruined Friedrischfelde castle and dedicates years of hard work to restoring it, but ultimately she is expelled by East German authorities. Working as a domestic in the household of an elderly equestrian officer, Herbert von Zitzenau Zitzenau, she is drawn into a sexual relationship. The affair lasts several years until Zitzenau’s health declines and he dies.
Even under the communist regime of East Germany, Charlotte and her circle find ways to live openly. While cruising a public restroom, Charlotte meets Jochen Jochen, a lover with whom she can feel like a real woman. Their relationship features sadomasochistic role-playing and lasts for 27 years until Jochen’s death.
For more than three decades, Charlotte preserves the entire contents of East Berlin’s first gay bar after the DDR government closes the venue and contemplates demolition. The bar’s remnants are transferred to the Gründerzeit Museum in Mahlsdorf, which Charlotte runs with a lesbian couple. In 1989, the elderly Charlotte remains a central, active figure as she appears in the first East German gay film, Heiner Carow’s Coming Out, whose premiere coincides with the fall of the Berlin Wall. Even after German reunification, Charlotte faces ongoing struggles: the government takes the Gründerzeit Museum and its contents from her, and she and her gay friends endure attacks by neo-Nazis during the early joint East–West gay and lesbian gathering. In 1992, her work is formally recognized when she receives the Cross of the Order of Merit for her lifelong efforts to advance sexual freedom.
I Am My Own Woman Timeline: Every Key Event in Order
13 key events in the order they happen, from “Childhood in Nazi Germany: Lothar's early awakening” to “Recognition with the Cross of the Order of Merit”. 13 events name a place, across 10 locations.
- 1
Childhood in Nazi Germany: Lothar's early awakening
Lothar Berfelde grows up as an effeminate boy in Nazi Germany, finding solace in routine and privacy. He helps at his great-uncle's house, where minor acts of care give him a sense of identity. On a vacation to Eastern Prussia, Luise—the household 'aunt' who is a transgender man—allows him to dress in female clothes and introduces him to The Transvestite by Dr Magnus Hirschfeld, planting the seed of living as a woman.
When:1930s Where:Eastern Prussia
- 2
Killing his brutal father to protect his mother
Back in Berlin, after the death of his great-uncle, Lothar endures brutal punishment from his father. In a desperate bid to save himself and his mother, Lothar bludgeons his father to death. The crime triggers psychiatric evaluation and imprisonment, setting a dark turning point in his life.
When:1940s Where:Berlin, Germany
- 3
Imprisonment and psychiatric evaluation after patricide
Following the patricide, Lothar is subjected to psychiatric evaluation and institutionalization. The war's upheaval compounds his precarious position as he navigates the legacy of the crime. The experience marks a long period of psychological and social struggle.
When:1940s Where:Berlin, Germany
- 4
Liberation and desertion escape in postwar Berlin
As World War II ends, the city offers little safety for the young woman-to-be. Lothar/Charlotte escapes danger by wandering the streets, narrowly avoiding being killed as a deserter by former soldiers. The liberation is chaotic, leaving her to forge a new identity in a battered capital.
When:1945-1946 Where:Berlin, Germany
- 5
Becoming Charlotte: adopting a feminine identity
By 1946, Lothar has embraced a feminine identity and lives full-time as a woman. She adopts the name Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, with Charlotte and Lottchen reflecting her dual self. The transformation marks a turning point from survival to self-authorship in postwar Berlin.
When:1946 Where:Berlin
- 6
Restoration of Friedrishfelde castle
Charlotte moves into the ruined Friedrishfelde castle and dedicates years to restoring it. She labors to transform the neglected property into a living reminder of turn-of-the-century life. The castle becomes a sanctuary for her collection and memories, shaping her museum ambitions.
When:late 1940s–1950s Where:Friedrishfelde castle
- 7
Expulsion by East German authorities
Despite her efforts, East German authorities expel her from the Friedrishfelde estate. She must seek work elsewhere, facing state hostility toward queer life. The episode illustrates the regime's intolerance toward homosexuals and dissidents.
When:early 1950s Where:East Germany
- 8
Domestic life with Herbert von Zitzenau
Charlotte finds work as a domestic in the household of Herbert von Zitzenau, an elderly equestrian officer. The two begin a long, intimate relationship that lasts for years until Zitzenau's health declines and he dies. She explains preferring older lovers who provide protection and stability.
When:1950s–1960s Where:Herbert von Zitzenau's household, East Germany
- 9
Meeting Joechen and a 27-year relationship
Charlotte meets Joechen in a public restroom, where she can finally be a complete woman. Their relationship includes sadomasochistic role-playing and lasts for 27 years until Joechen's death. The partnership becomes a central thread through decades of East German life.
When:1960s–1980s Where:East Berlin, public restroom
- 10
Preserving East Berlin's first gay bar and founding the Gründerzeit Museum
Charlotte preserves the entire contents of East Berlin's first gay bar after the DDR closes it. The collection is moved to the Gründerzeit Museum in Mahlsdorf, where she curates and maintains it for future generations. This act cements a physical memory of queer history within her care.
When:late 1980s Where:East Berlin; Gründerzeit Museum, Mahlsdorf
Show the other 3 events of I Am My Own Woman Hide the last 3 events
- 11
Appearances in Coming Out as the Berlin Wall falls
In 1989, the elderly Charlotte appears in Heiner Carow's first East German gay film Coming Out. The film's premiere aligns with the fall of the Berlin Wall, signaling a turning point in political and cultural life. Her visibility marks a moment of liberalization for LGBTQ culture in Germany.
When:1989 Where:Berlin, East Germany
- 12
Post-reunification challenges and neo-Nazi attacks
After reunification, the government takes the Gründerzeit Museum from Charlotte, illustrating new governance tensions. She and her circle face attacks by neo-Nazis during the first joint East–West gay and lesbian gathering. The period shows that prejudice persists even as Germany is politically transformed.
When:early 1990s Where:Berlin, Germany
- 13
Recognition with the Cross of the Order of Merit
In 1992, Charlotte's life work is officially recognized by the German government. She receives the Cross of the Order of Merit for advancing sexual freedom and preserving LGBTQ history. The award cements her legacy as a foundational figure in Germany's queer cultural memory.
When:1992 Where:Germany
Who Are the Main Characters in I Am My Own Woman?
9 characters, among them Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, Lothar Berfelde (Young Charlotte) and Aunt Luise: who each one is and the part they play in the story. Every profile links to the actor’s page.
- CV
Charlotte von Mahlsdorf
Played by Charlotte von Mahlsdorf
An elderly transgender woman who runs the Gründerzeit Museum and embodies a life lived as a woman from the turn of the 20th century. The film dramatizes her recollections across Nazi Germany, East Germany, and reunified Germany, underscoring resilience, privacy, and self-determination. Her ongoing project is to preserve a personal and cultural history that might otherwise be lost.
- 🏳️⚧️ Trans woman
- 🏛️ Museum founder
- 🗺️ Berlin history
- LB
Lothar Berfelde (Young Charlotte)
Played by Ichgola Androgyn
The precocious youth who grows into Charlotte’s later life. An effeminate boy during Nazi times, he finds an outlet for gender expression during early experiences away from home. His life is shaped by familial violence, a pivotal act of self-definition, and the beginnings of a lifelong journey toward living as a woman.
- 🧒 Childhood
- 🌈 Identity
- 🩺 Trauma
- AL
Aunt Luise
Played by Evelyn Cron
A transgender woman who provides a safe space for Lothar to explore female dress and gender expression. She lends him the book The Transvestite and respects his privacy, acting as a compassionate mentor during a turbulent coming-of-age.
- 🏳️⚧️ Trans history
- 🧭 Mentor
- 🏡 Safe haven
- HV
Herbert von Zitzenau
Played by Robert Dietl
An elderly equestrian officer who becomes a lover and protector to Charlotte for years. Their relationship illustrates affection across class and age differences, her need for experienced companionship, and the gradual decline of his health that ends their liaison.
- 💼 Authority
- ❤️ Romance
- 🧓 Age difference
- J
Jochen
Played by Rainer Luhn
Charlotte’s long-time lover, whose relationship spans decades and includes intense, boundary-pushing sexual dynamics. Their bond endures through many years and turmoil, until Jochen’s death shifts the course of Charlotte’s life.
- 💞 Long-term relationship
- ⚖️ Power dynamics
- HC
Heiner Carow (Himself)
Played by Heiner Carow
The filmmaker appears as himself, linking the narrative to the real-world context of East German cinema. His presence underscores the film’s engagement with LGBTQ history and regional film culture, including the East German film Coming Out.
- 🎬 Film history
- 🏳️🌈 LGBTQ culture
- UK
Utz Krause
Played by Utz Krause
Charlotte’s brutal father, whose harsh discipline and threats shape Lothar’s childhood. His violence and authority contribute to the family dynamics that drive the nightmarish events of Lothar’s youth.
- 👨👦 Abuse
- 🧱 Family violence
- TD
Tima die Göttliche
Played by Tima die Göttliche
Appearing as herself, Tima die Göttliche participates as a contemporary voice within the film, contributing to its exploration of modern queer culture and public identity in a transitioning Germany.
- 🎭 Cameo
- 🌈 LGBTQ history
- OM
Ovo Maltine
Played by Ovo Maltine
Appearing as herself, Ovo Maltine embodies a real-world presence within the narrative, reflecting the blend of personal memory and public performance in queer history.
- 🎬 Cameo
- 🌈 LGBTQ history
Where and When Is I Am My Own Woman Set?
I Am My Own Woman is set in Berlin, East Berlin, Mahlsdorf and Friedrishfelde castle (1930s–1992). Here is why the time and place matter to the story.
When
1930s–1992
The film unfolds across multiple decades: the Nazi era and World War II, the immediate postwar period, life under the East German regime, and the transition to a reunified Germany after 1989. It traces the protagonist’s childhood, youth, and later years, set against political upheavals that influence personal freedom and cultural expression. The timeline culminates in the early 1990s, when recognition and national changes reshape her legacy.
Where
Berlin, East Berlin, Mahlsdorf, Friedrishfelde castle
The narrative travels through Berlin and its outskirts, notably Mahlsdorf where the Gründerzeit Museum is housed. It shifts from wartime Berlin to postwar East Germany, reflecting how geography and politics shape personal life. Key settings include the destroyed Friedrichsfelde Castle and the city’s evolving cultural landscape as memories of a hidden past are preserved.
- 🏙️ Berlin
- 🏛️ Gründerzeit Museum
- 🗺️ East Germany
What Are the Themes of I Am My Own Woman?
4 ideas the story keeps returning to, among them Identity, Memory and Oppression.
-
01
Identity
The story traces a gendered self-creation from the boy Lothar Berfelde to Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, illustrating how personal identity can persist and evolve under oppressive regimes. It examines how individuals navigate social expectations while pursuing authenticity. The drama emphasizes resilience and self-definition as central acts of survival.
-
02
Memory
Charlotte curates and safeguards fragments of queer history through the Gründerzeit Museum and the preservation of a vanished gay bar. The film treats memory as a form of resistance against censorship and cultural erasure. Personal recollections become public history, shaping future generations.
-
03
Oppression
The narrative situates Charlotte’s life within Nazi persecution and the surveillance-heavy East German state. It shows how sexuality and gender expression are policed, forcing clever navigation and risk-taking. The tension between personal freedom and political control drives the drama.
-
04
Art and Preservation
Curation and museum work function as lifelines for Charlotte, turning artifacts into a sanctuary of memory. The act of collecting and displaying becomes a countercultural act of self-definition and communal memory. The museum serves as a repository for a marginalized culture, granting legitimacy through art.
What Kind of Film Is I Am My Own Woman?
Hopeful in tone, with steady pacing and a moderate story, going by the plot summary.
- Tone
- Hopeful
- Pacing
- Steady
- Story
- Moderate
- Intensity
- High
- Ending
- Bittersweet
A deeply moving and historically grounded documentary-drama that charts one trans woman's defiant life of survival and self-actualization against the brutal backdrop of 20th-century Germany, balancing moments of personal tragedy with a resilient and ultimately hopeful spirit.
- resilient
- uphill struggle
- melancholic
- defiant
- reflective
- historical burden
- lgbtq+ history
- survival
- identity formation
- political oppression
Content notes: murder, parental abuse, imprisonment, homophobic violence, neo-nazi attacks.
Quiz
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