The Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County 1970

Charley Bicker [Dan Blocker] is the shy, naive blacksmith of Calico, a man defined by his honesty and stubborn devotion to his craft. He falls hard for a mail-order dream named Ellen and, in a hopeful rush, sends all of his savings for a train ticket to the town he believes will be his new life. He keeps the plan mostly to himself, save for the storekeeper who even sends off for a wedding ring. But word travels fast, and a crowd gathers at the station when Charley arrives to meet his bride—only to discover that Ellen isn’t on the train. Public humiliation follows, and Charley is forced to pretend the whole thing was a joke.

Meanwhile, a nearly blind bounty hunter named Kittrick [Jack Elam] rides into town and makes his way toward the sheriff’s office, adding a thread of danger to the town’s already fragile situation. The townspeople soon realize they’re in a bind: Charley’s labor is needed at the blacksmith shop, where Mr. Bester [Wally Cox] keeps a freight hauling operation with wagons all awaiting repairs. Without Charley, business slows and supply lines falter, threatening to drag Calico into harder times. To avert disaster, the community hatches a plan: they’ll pretend Ellen has arrived by stagecoach and recruit a single woman to fill the role, so life can go on and Charley’s usefulness won’t vanish.

That single woman is Sadie [Nanette Fabray], a saloon girl who’s also entangled with the jealous Roger Hand [Jack Cassidy]. At first, Sadie resists the scheme, but the social sting she endures from the respectable ladies pushing her away shifts her perspective. She decides to step into Ellen’s shoes, hoping to gain the town’s respect by playing a role that will let her be treated as an equal.

Charley calls Sadie to visit the house he has prepared, offering her a future if she agrees to marry him. The plan gains momentum as they schedule a tour of the house for the next day. That same evening, Mrs. Bester learns of Sadie’s true identity but reveals a surprising truth: the town’s women know exactly who she is, yet they still want her to marry Charley so their husbands won’t abandon their duties at the saloon.

Tensions surge when Roger Hand confronts Sadie at the saloon, and the patrons draw their guns, ordering him to leave town. Hand vows to take Sadie away, and the pressure intensifies. The sheriff becomes preoccupied with a mismatched and dangerous game when he discovers that Kittrick has come to town to arrest the outlaw Panama Jack. To cover the misidentity, the sheriff uses a poster to cast Panama Jack as Roger Hand, triggering confusion among the saloon crowd, who begin to misidentify Roger as the outlaw. Kittrick opens fire, chasing Roger out of town and into a chaotic pursuit.

Back at the saloon, Sadie reappears in a more revealing outfit and delivers a performance about not caring what others think, further blurring the town’s sense of truth and appearances. In the meantime, Charley goes to the Bester house and asks Mrs. Bester for the key to the house he has fixed up, signaling that he will no longer need to rely on the improvised plan. Mrs. Bester expresses how much Sadie cares for Charley, softening the town’s judgment and underscoring the deeper bond forming between them. The story builds to a hopeful, decisive moment as Charley resolves to marry Sadie that very day, sealing a new future for both of them and giving Calico a reason to believe in second chances.