If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025): Cast, Ratings & Box Office
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a 2025 comedy thriller starring Rose Byrne as Linda, Christian Slater and Conan O'Brien. It runs 1 hour 53 minutes and earned $1.7 million worldwide on a $1.5 million budget. Critics gave it 92% on Rotten Tomatoes and 78 on Metacritic, and IMDb users rate it 6.6/10.
What Is If I Had Legs I'd Kick You About?
The premise of If I Had Legs I'd Kick You without spoilers. The whole story is in the plot summary further down.
Facing a cascade of personal crises, Linda (Rose Byrne) struggles to care for a child suffering from a baffling illness while her husband remains absent. As a missing‑person case looms and her sessions with a therapist grow increasingly antagonistic, she fights to hold her life together.
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Themes & Keywords
· 8 tags- therapist
- long island new york
- life
- husband
- dramedy drama
- dark comedy
- psychological drama
- refusing to eat
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Cast & Characters
Rose Byrne leads the cast as Linda, with Christian Slater as Charles and Conan O'Brien as Therapist.
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Rose Byrne as Linda -
Christian Slater as Charles -
Conan O'Brien as Therapist - Ivy Wolk as Diana
Also Starring in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
· 16 more- A$AP Rocky James
- Danielle Macdonald Caroline
- Josh Pais Brad
- Daniel Zolghadri Stephen
- Laurence Blum Police Officer
- Ronald Bronstein Caroline's Husband
- Helen Hong Eva
- Delaney Quinn Child
- Manu Narayan Landlord
- Mary Bronstein Dr. Spring
- Mark Stolzenberg Parking Attendant
- Amy Judd Lieberman Melanie
- Ella Beatty Kate
- Eva Kornet Breathworker
- Lark White Vanessa
- Char Sidney Nurse
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Reviews & Ratings
Critics gave If I Had Legs I'd Kick You 92% on Rotten Tomatoes and 78 on Metacritic, and IMDb users rate it 6.6/10. Our Echo Score gives it 74/100, strongest in character & emotion (82) and weakest in rewatch factor (65).
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Echo Score Breakdown
The film tackles modern motherhood with an aggressively personal style that both captivates and alienates. Strong points include Rose Byrne’s elastic performance and a visually intense, jagged cinematography that conveys the protagonist’s anxiety. Critics note uneven pacing and an experimental structure that overstays its welcome, while some viewers find the experience exhausting. Consequently, the movie registers a mixed but modestly positive reception overall.
Our own 0–100 rating, built from five aspects: art, character, story, the sensory experience and how well a film rewatches.
- Art & Craft 78
In terms of direction and visual craft, the film employs a jagged, relentless cinematography that mirrors the protagonist’s inner turmoil. Critics praise the adrenalized propulsion of scenes and the bold production design, while also citing moments of dysfunction and overstretched editing that compromise cohesion. The artistic approach is daring but uneven, yielding a mixed assessment of its craft.
- Character & Emotion 82
When evaluating acting and emotional depth, Rose Byrne’s performance stands out as a versatile, tragicomic portrayal that many reviewers label a tour de force. Her ability to convey psychological stripping and physical intensity is widely praised. Conversely, some critics argue the central character remains unsympathetic and exhausting, lacking sufficient humanity. Overall, the character work is strong yet polarizing.
- Story & Flow 68
The narrative centers on a fraught exploration of motherhood, presenting high stakes and rare portrayals of maternal ambivalence. While critics commend its originality and purposeful intensity, many note a familiar scope and a script that drags, resulting in an overstretched runtime. The pacing and thematic clarity therefore appear inconsistent, producing a mixed perception of the story’s effectiveness.
- Sensory Experience 75
In sensory terms, the film delivers a relentless visual style, using stark photography and surreal, absurdist elements to embody the protagonist’s anxiety. Reviewers highlight the artful, artsy depiction of stress and a potent soundscape that amplifies tension. Nevertheless, some find the intensity torturous and overwhelming, suggesting that the sensory assault may alienate portions of the audience.
- Rewatch Factor 65
Regarding repeat viewings, audience reactions are sharply divided. Enthusiasts cite the film’s poignant surrealism and lasting thematic impact as reasons to revisit, while detractors describe the experience as exhausting and unsuitable for escapist viewing. The combined effect yields a moderate rewatch factor, reflecting both a strong artistic impression and considerable emotional fatigue.
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IMDb 6.6 /10
41953 votes
See on IMDb -
Rotten Tomatoes 92% Tomatometer
Popcornmeter 79%
See on Rotten Tomatoes -
Metacritic 78 Metascore
User score 7.0
See on Metacritic -
TMDB 63% User score
See on TMDB -
Letterboxd 3.7 /5
418795 ratings
See on Letterboxd
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Plot Summary
What happens in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You from start to finish, spoilers included, with a timeline of 11 key events. The opening is below; the full summary is a 3-minute read.
Spoilers ahead
Linda, Rose Byrne, is a dedicated therapist who is stretched to the limit as she cares for her daughter, who suffers from an eating disorder. Her child’s needs are constant and specific—the daughter must be fed through a PEG tube each night—creating a relentless cycle of obligation, fatigue, and anxious vigilance. The weight of responsibility is compounded by an largely absent husband, Charles, who is away on a two-month work trip and offers little more than critiques in the few conversations they manage to have.
Full summary
The whole story of If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, scene by scene
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Box Office & Budget
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You grossed $1.7 million worldwide on a $1.5 million budget, 1.1 times what it cost. $1.1 million came from the US and Canada and $618,238 (36%) from the rest of the world.
Worldwide gross
$1.7M
1.1× its budget
- US & Canada
- $1.1M
- International
- $618.2K
- Budget
- $1.5M
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Trailers & Videos
10 videos: 2 trailers, 3 clips and 5 featurettes.
- Trailer Trailer
- Clip Rose Byrne's Golden Globe Award-Winning Performance
- Clip The Oscar Nominated Hamster Scene
- Clip This Performance Got Rose Byrne an Oscar Nomination
How Well Do You Know If I Had Legs I'd Kick You?
10 questions about the story, each with a hint if you get stuck. Pick an answer to see whether you were right.
Question 1 of 10
- Question 1: not answered
- Question 2: not answered
- Question 3: not answered
- Question 4: not answered
- Question 5: not answered
- Question 6: not answered
- Question 7: not answered
- Question 8: not answered
- Question 9: not answered
- Question 10: not answered
Who plays the lead character Linda, a dedicated therapist?
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Also Known As
13 alternative titles, including “Ayaqlarım Olsaydı Səni Təpikləyərdim” and “Я бы тебя пнула, если бы могла”.
- Also known as
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- Ayaqlarım Olsaydı Səni Təpikləyərdim
- Я бы тебя пнула, если бы могла
- 如果有腿,我会踢你
- 다리가 있다면 너를 걷어찰거야
- Я не залізна
- Nếu Tôi Có Chân
- Tôi Sẽ Đá Cô
- 如果有腿,我會踢你
- Si j’en avais la force
- Se Eu Tivesse Pernas
- Te Chutaria
- Ja varētu, es tev spertu
+1 more Show fewer
- Bacaklarım Olsaydı Sana Tekme Atardım
Seen If I Had Legs I'd Kick You?
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Articles About If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
Our article about If I Had Legs I'd Kick You: “If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025) – Critical Review, Audience Opinions, and Reception Analysis”.
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Opinions
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You FAQ: Cast & Box Office
Runtime, release date, cast, box office, ratings and post-credit scenes of If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, each answered in a sentence.
How long is If I Had Legs I'd Kick You?
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You runs 1 hour 53 minutes (113 minutes).
When was If I Had Legs I'd Kick You released?
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You was released on October 10, 2025.
Who is in the cast of If I Had Legs I'd Kick You?
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You stars Rose Byrne as Linda, Christian Slater as Charles and Conan O'Brien as Therapist, among 20 credited actors.
How much did If I Had Legs I'd Kick You make at the box office?
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You grossed $1.7 million worldwide ($1.1 million domestic, $618,238 international) on a budget of $1.5 million.
How is If I Had Legs I'd Kick You rated?
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You has 6.6/10 on IMDb, 92% on Rotten Tomatoes, 78 on Metacritic and 63% on TMDB.
Does If I Had Legs I'd Kick You have a post-credit scene?
No. If I Had Legs I'd Kick You has no extra scene during or after the credits.
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