Feast III: The Happy Finish 2009

Honey Pie unfolds as a brutal scramble for survival after a monstrous attack leaves a group of people fighting for their lives in a ruined urban setting. Honey Pie, Jenny Wade, is killed early in the chaos, setting a grim tone for what follows. Lightning, Juan Longoria García, barely makes it through an explosion and crawls away, bleeding and battered but determined to stay ahead of the threat. The remaining survivors—Biker Queen, Tat Girl, Tit Girl, Secrets, Bartender, Slasher, and Greg Swank, now dealing with a pipe lodged in his head—fend off more monsters as they navigate the rooftop and the streets below.

The scene broadens as more of the ensemble comes into view. Thunder, Martin Klebba, is still alive but badly wounded, crawling to safety only to be tragically struck by Shitkicker, John Allen Nelson. On the ground level, Shitkicker bursts into a police station, smashing the door and triggering a fresh wave of attacks. The survivors sprint toward a jail where Hobo, William Prael, tries to pick them off, but the biker group overpowers him, buying the team some crucial time.

Greg Swank, Tom Gulager, reveals a possible way out: Slasher, Carl Anthony Payne II, has access to a fleet of used cars that could ferry them to safety. The plan shifts when a gunshot from Secrets, Johanna Putnam, draws a new wave of attention from the monsters, forcing the group to abandon the police station and sprint toward a distant car lot. Slasher diverges from the group to create a diversion, tripping Hobo in the process, and the monsters chase the others as they race through the building.

Inside a metal storage unit, a tense standoff unfolds. The group encounters Slasher again, who is pressed into service as bait and then violently confronted by the same monsters. The unit becomes a deadly trap: a creature penetrates the crowd and the dynamics erupt into chaos as the survivors try to reclaim control. In a shocking twist, a monstrous event occurs that ends with the fatal consequences for Slasher and a brutal moment for Greg and the pipe in his head. Secrets, overwhelmed by grief, lashes out in a reckless attempt to salvage the situation, wielding the pipe in a rage that reshapes who remains among the living.

Meanwhile, Biker Queen leads the others toward a buried school bus that doubles as a hidden meth lab. With a daring escape, the bus breaks free but sputters to a halt as the engines die, stranding the survivors underground. Tat Girl and the others flee through a collapsing path, and Tit Girl is lost to the carnage as the tunnels fill with pursuing infected and monstrous forms. Short Bus Gus, whose odd talent for repelling monsters emerges from a malfunctioning hearing aid, helps to guide the group toward the city’s sewer systems, hoping to reach safety above ground.

In the sprawling sewers, new threats spring up, and the group is forced to split into smaller factions: Jean Claude Segal, Craig Henningsen, teams with Bartender, while Biker Queen bands with Secrets, Greg, Lightning, and Short Bus Gus. Their journey is punctuated by danger, as Jean Claude suffers a brutal bite, losing an arm, and the others struggle to keep moving. The attempt to heal wounds becomes a grim reminder of how perilous their world has become.

The survivors eventually discover the Hive, a colossal, riotous rave that has become a breeding ground for the infected and the monsters. Inside this nightmarish venue, the group is briefly reunited, only to be separated again as infected townsfolk converge on them. Biker Queen is infected, forcing Jean Claude to stay behind and try to fend off the crowd to allow the others to escape. He fights valiantly, but is ultimately ripped apart, leaving a stark sense of loss and resolve among the remaining players.

Short Bus Gus uncovers a cruel realization about his own device—his hearing aid—that seems to repel the beasts, a discovery that comes too late for some. The Slasher monster finally closes the gap with the group, killing the aggressive threat and removing the pipe from Greg’s head in a way that ends Greg’s life. Secrets, driven mad by grief, seizes the opportunity to confront the Slasher-turned-hybrid and ends him with the very pipe that once harmed Greg.

As the survivors press forward, Biker Queen distracts the monsters by pairing off with a creature, drawing the swarm away from her friends. Bartender consoles Secrets and Lightning, telling them that they are among the last survivors and that their only option is to carry on and repopulate. In a cruel twist of fate, Secrets looks up as the foot of a gigantic robot descends, crushing her and Lightning in a single, devastating moment.

The film closes on a surreal, almost mythic note. A Mexican guitarist appears and, in song, sums up the entire Feast trilogy’s storyline, offering a strange, musical coda to the carnage. In the post-credits scene, Bartender trudges toward the camera and mutters a resigned, defiant line: > Goddamn it.