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Dear Ex (2019) Plot Summary & Timeline

Dear Ex (2019) movie poster

Dear Ex is a 2019 drama and comedy film directed by Chih-Yen Hsu and Mag Hsu, running 1 hour 40 minutes. This page retells the whole story in 437 words (about 2 minutes to read) and covers 15 key events in order, 3 characters, where and when it is set and 3 themes. Looking for the cast, ratings and where to stream it? See the movie page for Dear Ex.

to read the plot summary
2 min
key events in the timeline
15
characters profiled
3
themes explained
3
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Dear Ex (2019) movie poster
Released
Runtime
1h 40m
Directors
Chih-Yen Hsu and Mag Hsu
Genres
Drama, Comedy, Romance
Original language
Chinese
Studio
Netflix
No spoilers

What Is Dear Ex About?

The premise of Dear Ex in 307 words, with nothing given away. The full story follows below.

In the wake of a sudden loss, a family is thrust into an unexpected and unsettling new reality. When San-lian’s former husband passes away, she discovers that his final wishes have been rewritten, bypassing her son and instead bequeathing his estate to a stranger whose identity is as enigmatic as the decision itself. The revelation sets the tone for a story that balances grief with the sting of betrayal, inviting viewers into a contemporary world where legal documents become the battlefield for love and loyalty.

San-lian is a woman defined by quiet resilience, now compelled to confront the unsettling terms of a will she never imagined. As a mother, her fierce protectiveness clashes with the practicalities of the inheritance, prompting her to enter a tense rivalry with the unexpected beneficiary. Her determination is matched only by the complexities of her own past, hinting at layers of unresolved emotion that underlie every interaction.

Enter Jay, a figure whose presence is both unsettling and magnetic. Though initially introduced as the beneficiary of a far‑away love, he is also an artist, a theatre director whose life is lived in the margins of conventional expectations. The dynamic shifts when Cheng-xi, the teenage son, finds himself drawn to this new world, forging an unlikely connection that challenges the boundaries of family, identity, and belonging. Their evolving relationship offers a subtle counterpoint to the legal and emotional tug‑of‑war unfolding around them.

The film unfolds with a measured, introspective tone, blending the rawness of a modern family drama with hints of quiet humor and lingering melancholy. Its visual palette captures the bustling yet intimate spaces of city life, where private grief and public facades intersect. As each character navigates their own desires and secrets, the story invites the audience to contemplate what truly binds people together—a question that lingers long after the credits roll.

Full plot

What Happens in Dear Ex?

The complete story of Dear Ex, from the first scene to the last, in 437 words (about 2 minutes). Spoilers throughout. Names in the text link to 2 cast member pages.

Spoilers ahead

When San-lian’s ex-husband, Zheng-yuan, passes away, she uncovers the shocking truth that he has made changes to his insurance policy, excluding their son from the benefits and instead favoring his male partner, Jay (Roy Chiu). Filled with anger and disbelief, San-lian confronts Jay at his apartment, demanding that he return the money to them. However, Jay firmly refuses to comply, intensifying the already fraught situation.

Meanwhile, San-lian’s son, Cheng-xi (Joseph Huang), struggles with the relationship he has with his mother. He often feels that her primary concern is the insurance payout rather than their family. To cope with his emotions, he attends therapy sessions at school. In the heat of an argument after his mother discards his father’s memorabilia, Cheng-xi decides to leave home unexpectedly, opting to live with Jay. This shift places Jay in a position of responsibility, and he reluctantly begins to care for the troubled teenager. Cheng-xi shadows Jay throughout the day, witnessing his life as a theatre director.

Through flashbacks, the backstory unfolds between Jay and Zheng-yuan — originally coworkers in the theatre, they became lovers before Zheng-yuan chose to conceal his true self and marry San-lian to start a family. Tragically, after becoming ill, Zheng-yuan departed from his family to spend his final days with Jay.

San-lian persistently visits her son at Jay’s apartment, attempting to persuade him to return home. During one of these encounters, she inadvertently meets Jay’s mother, who remains oblivious to her son’s sexual orientation. In a calculated bid for money, she enters Jay’s rehearsal space and threatens to reveal his secret unless he hands over the insurance funds. Despite the threat, she divulges his truth to her son anyway.

As tensions escalate, Jay faces a brutal ambush from a group of men who leave him injured with a broken leg. Cheng-xi finds him in this vulnerable state and immediately tells his mother, who rushes Jay to the hospital. It comes to light that Jay had previously turned to loan sharks for financial assistance to help Zheng-yuan receive a liver transplant, which sadly proved ineffective.

Despite his injury, Jay is determined to perform in his theatrical debut. Following a hurried return to the theatre, San-lian and Cheng-xi attend the performance, witnessing Jay’s talent on stage. After the show, an emotional moment occurs when Jay’s mother presents him with flowers, signifying her acceptance of him as he and Jay share a heartfelt embrace. In a surprising twist, San-lian ultimately decides to let Jay keep the insurance money, fostering a moment of reconciliation as Cheng-xi moves back in with his mother, bringing a semblance of peace to their complicated lives.

Timeline

Dear Ex Timeline: Every Key Event in Order

15 key events in the order they happen, from “Zheng-yuan's Death” to “Cheng-xi Returns Home”. 6 events name a place, across 4 locations.

  1. 1

    Zheng-yuan's Death

    San-lian's ex-husband, Zheng-yuan, passes away unexpectedly, triggering a series of events. This loss leaves San-lian in shock, and she begins to dig into the details of his life and financial arrangements.

  2. 2

    Insurance Policy Changes

    Upon reviewing the insurance policy, San-lian discovers that Zheng-yuan changed the beneficiary to his male partner, Jay, leaving their son, Cheng-xi, out completely. This revelation intensifies her feelings of betrayal and anger towards both Zheng-yuan and Jay.

  3. 3

    Confrontation with Jay

    Filled with rage, San-lian confronts Jay at his apartment, demanding that he return the insurance money intended for their son. Jay, however, firmly refuses her entreaties, exacerbating the tension between them.

    Where:Jay's apartment

  4. 4

    Cheng-xi's Emotional Struggles

    Cheng-xi grapples with his relationship with San-lian, feeling that her primary interest is the insurance payout rather than familial bonds. He copes with his emotional turmoil by seeking therapy sessions at school, illustrating his internal struggle.

  5. 5

    Cheng-xi Leaves Home

    After a heated argument where San-lian discards his father's memorabilia, Cheng-xi decides to leave home unexpectedly. He chooses to move in with Jay, significantly shifting the dynamics among the three of them.

  6. 6

    Jay Takes Responsibility

    With Cheng-xi now living with him, Jay finds himself in a new role as the caretaker of the troubled teen. Despite his initial reluctance, he begins to care for Cheng-xi, who shadows him as he navigates life as a theatre director.

  7. 7

    Flashbacks of Jay and Zheng-yuan

    The narrative utilizes flashbacks to reveal the backstory between Jay and Zheng-yuan. The audience learns of their early days as coworkers who became lovers, culminating in Zheng-yuan's decision to marry San-lian and live a double life.

  8. 8

    San-lian's Attempt to Reconnect

    San-lian persistently visits her son at Jay’s apartment in efforts to persuade him to return home. During one of these visits, she accidentally meets Jay’s mother, who is unaware of her son's true sexual orientation, which complicates matters further.

    Where:Jay's apartment

  9. 9

    Threat and Revelation

    In a bid for financial gain, San-lian threatens to expose Jay's sexual orientation unless he gives her the insurance money. Ironically, she confesses his secret to Cheng-xi anyway, adding tension to the already volatile situation.

    Where:The rehearsal space

  10. 10

    Jay's Attack and Injury

    Jay becomes a victim of a brutal attack by a group of men who leave him seriously injured with a broken leg. Cheng-xi discovers Jay in this vulnerable state and hurriedly informs his mother, triggering a sense of urgency.

Show the other 5 events of Dear Ex
  1. 11

    Hospital Visit

    San-lian rushes Jay to the hospital after learning of his injury. It is during this visit that they uncover the harsh reality of Jay's financial struggles, having previously borrowed money to finance Zheng-yuan's liver transplant.

    Where:Hospital

  2. 12

    Jay's Theatrical Debut

    Despite his injury, Jay remains determined to perform in his theatrical debut. San-lian and Cheng-xi attend the performance, moved by Jay's talent on stage, showcasing his resilience and dedication to his art.

    Where:Theatre

  3. 13

    Emotional Acceptance

    After the performance, an emotional moment unfolds when Jay's mother presents him with flowers, symbolizing her acceptance of him. This gesture marks a pivotal point in their relationship as Jay and his mother share a heartfelt embrace on stage.

    Where:Theatre

  4. 14

    Reconciliation

    In a surprising twist, San-lian ultimately chooses to let Jay keep the insurance money. This decision fosters a sense of reconciliation between them, with San-lian and Cheng-xi moving towards a more peaceful and understanding relationship.

  5. 15

    Cheng-xi Returns Home

    As a result of the reconciliatory atmosphere, Cheng-xi decides to move back in with his mother. This decision signifies a new chapter for their family, as they strive for healing amid the complexities of their lives.

Characters

Who Are the Main Characters in Dear Ex?

3 characters, among them Jay (Roy Chiu), Cheng-xi (Joseph Huang) and San-lian: who each one is and the part they play in the story. 2 of them link to the actor’s page.

  • J(

    Jay (Roy Chiu)

    Played by Roy Chiu

    Jay is a theatre director who finds himself at the epicenter of a familial clash following the death of his partner, Zheng-yuan. Struggling with the impact of his relationship on his life and future, he exhibits resilience and depth in his character as he navigates caring for Zheng-yuan's son while grappling with his own identity and acceptance.

    • 🎭 Theatre
    • 💖 Love
    • 🤝 Responsibility
  • C(

    Cheng-xi (Joseph Huang)

    Played by Joseph Huang

    Cheng-xi is the teenage son caught in the turmoil of his parents' choices and his father's death. He embodies the conflict of youth, expressing feelings of abandonment while seeking his place in a world overshadowed by grief. His character evolves significantly as he learns to navigate his complex emotions and relationships.

    • 😢 Grief
    • 👶 Teenager
    • 🧠 Mental Health
  • S

    San-lian

    San-lian is depicted as a mother who is fiercely protective yet misguided in her responses to the loss of her husband. Her journey reveals layers of anger and desperation as she confronts Jay and navigates her own grief, ultimately leading her towards a path of acceptance. Her character arc emphasizes the struggle between love, resentment, and understanding.

    • 👩‍👦 Motherhood
    • 💔 Conflict
    • 🌪️ Chaos
Setting

Where and When Is Dear Ex Set?

Dear Ex is set in Theatre, Jay's Apartment and Hospital. Here is why the place matters to the story.

When

The movie is set in the present day, reflecting contemporary societal issues around identity, familial conflict, and acceptance. It portrays the struggles of navigating personal relationships amidst layers of grief and emotional turmoil that resonate with modern audiences.

Where

Theatre, Jay's Apartment, Hospital

The story unfolds in a contemporary urban setting that revolves around several key locations. The theatre serves as a backdrop for Jay's artistic pursuits and emotional struggles, reflecting the creative world he inhabits. Jay's apartment represents the tension and confluence of different relationships, while the hospital signifies the stakes of life and health affecting all characters involved.

  • 🏙️ Urban
  • 🎭 Theatre
Themes

What Are the Themes of Dear Ex?

3 ideas the story keeps returning to, among them Loss and Grief, Acceptance and Family Dynamics.

  1. 01

    Loss and Grief

    The theme of loss is central to 'Dear Ex,' as it explores the emotional aftermath of Zheng-yuan's death. Characters grapple with their complex feelings of grief, from San-lian's anger over insurance issues to Cheng-xi's confusion about his family dynamics. These emotional challenges highlight how grief can reshape relationships and personal identities.

  2. 02

    Acceptance

    Acceptance is a prominent theme that evolves throughout the film. Jay’s journey from being an outsider to finding acceptance with both his partner's family and within himself illustrates the importance of embracing one’s identity. Additionally, San-lian’s eventual decision to let go of her resentment towards Jay marks a significant step toward reconciliation.

  3. 03

    Family Dynamics

    The movie delves into the complexities of family dynamics, particularly the strained relationship between San-lian and her son. Cheng-xi’s struggle to understand his mother's motivations showcases the challenges families face when dealing with loss, communication gaps, and differing priorities. The film ultimately portrays how understanding and compassion can pave the way for healing.

Tone & mood

What Kind of Film Is Dear Ex?

Bittersweet in tone, with steady pacing and a moderate story, going by the plot summary.

Tone
Bittersweet
Pacing
Steady
Story
Moderate
Intensity
Medium
Ending
Bittersweet

A poignant family drama fueled by grief and resentment that gradually transforms into a story of reluctant understanding, balancing raw emotional confrontations with quiet, reflective moments of healing.

  • grieving
  • resentful
  • revealing
  • melancholic
  • cathartic
  • contemplative
  • grief and loss
  • family conflict
  • lgbtq+ identity
  • inheritance dispute

Content notes: death of a parent, homophobia, emotional abuse, loan shark threat, physical assault.

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3 films close to Dear Ex in story and themes that have a full plot summary here: After This Our Exile (2006), Farewell My Concubine (1993) and A Sun (2020).

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FAQ

Dear Ex Plot Questions

5 quick answers about Dear Ex, taken from the plot summary, character guide and setting on this page and the film’s credits.

What is Dear Ex about?

In the wake of a sudden loss, a family is thrust into an unexpected and unsettling new reality. When San-lian’s former husband passes away, she discovers that his final wishes have been rewritten, bypassing her son and instead bequeathing his estate to a stranger whose identity is as enigmatic as…

Read the full plot summary

When and where does Dear Ex take place?

Dear Ex is set in Theatre, Jay's Apartment and Hospital. The movie is set in the present day, reflecting contemporary societal issues around identity, familial conflict, and acceptance.

The setting explained

Who are the main characters in Dear Ex?

The story follows Jay (Roy Chiu) (played by Roy Chiu), Cheng-xi (Joseph Huang) (played by Joseph Huang) and San-lian.

All the characters

What are the main themes of Dear Ex?

The summary picks out 3 themes: Loss and Grief, Acceptance and Family Dynamics.

The themes explained

Who directed Dear Ex?

Dear Ex (2019) was directed by Chih-Yen Hsu and Mag Hsu and runs 1 hour 40 minutes.

Chih-Yen Hsu’s films

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