Memories of My Body 2018

Memories of My Body follows Wahyu Juno, a young man in a Banyumas village where the body is treated as the archive of a life, carrying education, emotion, and trauma as it shapes who you become. The local lengger dance—performed by men who cross-dress—grounds the film’s reflection on gender and identity, with its own roots in a language that hints at both masculinity and femininity within every person.

As a child in the 1980s, his father leaves without explanation, and Juno begins learning lengger from a dance teacher. He also starts to explore his sexuality. He witnesses a brutal moment when the teacher kills a student for having sex with his wife. Following his father’s departure, his aunt takes him in, and she soon discovers his uncanny sensitivities—like detecting fertility in chickens by feeling for it—which unsettles her. He is chastised for spreading an odor and is forced to write an apology with chalk in his mouth, eventually writing “MOM.” A dance teacher then rescues him and teaches him lengger, and when Juno longs to touch a woman’s cleavage and misses his mother, the teacher allows it. Villagers later accuse the teacher of pedophilia, and the aunt hands Juno over to his uncle.

As an adult, Juno runs a clothing store and can measure a person’s body with his senses. One day, a boxer orders a traditional wedding costume and asks Juno to demonstrate how to wear it. When the man bleeds his chest on a safety pin and he sucks the wound, Juno realizes the boxer is gay. As the eldest of many siblings, the man rarely spends time with his mother and faces ongoing poverty. In a moment of closeness, they kiss, but the boxer loses a crucial match and cannot fund his wedding, drawing the ire of a controlling rival whose fixer separates them. Later, Juno learns from his uncle that his father’s departure was tied to trauma beside a river near their home, connected to rumors about the 30 September Movement. After his uncle’s death, Juno moves to Jati village to become a costume designer for a lengger troupe.

With elections looming, a regent candidate is advised by a shaman to find a mate who can spiritually anchor his victory. Juno is chosen, but he rejects the instruction. A warok blocks the regent’s plan to reconcile by selecting Juno as his gemblak, or male companion, deepening their bond. The regent’s wife hires fixers to push Juno and the lengger group out, fearing that a photo of the regent and Juno holding hands could sway conservative villagers against him. A relative confronts the wife about her abuse of power, warning she will face loneliness if she continues. The troupe escapes just in time, and Juno walks away smiling, stepping into a life beyond the closet.

• The Boxer, Randy Pangalila

• The Lengger Instructor, Sujiwo Tejo

• Juno’s Uncle, Fajar Suharno

• The Regent, Teuku Rifnu Wikana

• Aunt Juno, Endah Laras

• The Regent’s Wife, Dorothea Quin

• The Warok, Whani Darmawan

Memories of My Body weaves a measured, reflective arc that refuses easy answers. It treats personal discovery and social pressure with quiet honesty, showing how Juno’s journey through love, art, and identity intersects with cultural rituals, political tension, and family history. Through its intimate, sensory storytelling, the film portrays a life redefined by courage and self-acceptance, even as it navigates the risks that come with choosing authenticity in a world that still polices gender and desire.