Machete Kills

The film commences with a tantalizing teaser for the next installment of the Machete saga, aptly titled "Machete Kills Again... In Space!", which promises a thrilling intergalactic adventure featuring Danny Trejo as the titular hero, alongside Michelle Rodriguez, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga, and even Justin Bieber in a memorable cameo as a robotic foe. Meanwhile, Leonardo DiCaprio is rumored to be on board to portray the enigmatic "The Man in the Silver Mask". But before we blast off into space, the narrative takes a dramatic turn.

Back on Earth, a team of heavily armed military personnel converges at the Arizona-Mexico border, only to find themselves face-to-face with Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), who have been tracking their movements. The cartel, notorious for their ruthless tactics, arrive on the scene, intent on acquiring the high-tech weaponry being transported by the military. Machete and Sartana, well aware of the cartel's true intentions, take a stand against them. As the battle rages on, Machete unleashes his signature brutality, slicing through the cartel with precision and fury.

In the midst of the chaos, the cartel leader delivers a chilling warning: "If a man kills a legend, he becomes a legend himself." Just as it seems that Machete is about to meet his maker, three helicopters swoop in, disgorging masked men who begin mowing down the cartel. Sartana implores Machete to join forces with her and take on these newcomers, but before they can combine their efforts, the man in the luchador mask appears, terminating Sartana's life with a merciless bullet.

Machete is left reeling from the loss of his partner, only to be apprehended by the masked men. As he awaits execution at the hands of Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler), Machete is subjected to a brutal interrogation. But just as all hope seems lost, Machete's indomitable spirit refuses to yield. A call from the President interrupts the proceedings, and with Clebourne (Samuel Davis) serving as his unwitting accomplice, Machete seizes the opportunity to take control of the situation, snatching the phone from Doakes' grasp and growling, "This is Machete."

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As Machete (Danny Trejo) arrives at the White House, President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen; credited under his birth name Carlos Estevez) reveals a dire situation: Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir), a former cartel member turned revolutionary, has concocted a catastrophic plan to launch a missile at Washington unless Mexico is invaded to eradicate corruption. The President tasks Machete with tracking down and eliminating Mendez, but only after granting him U.S. citizenship as a reward for his loyalty. This time, Machete agrees to take on the mission, not just for himself, but also in honor of his late friend Sartana.

Upon arriving in San Antonio, Texas, Machete meets Blanca Vasquez (Amber Heard), aka Miss San Antonio, who flaunts her impressive arsenal and shares intel on Mendez's plan. She briefs him on the situation and sets him on a course to find Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens) in Acapulco, Mexico. As they grow closer, Blanca shows Machete that she is more than just a skilled handler - she is a woman with a fiery passion for life. Their intimate encounter serves as a moment of respite before Machete embarks on his perilous mission.

Blanca flies Machete to Acapulco, where he takes the leap of faith and parachutes onto Mexican soil. He finds himself in the midst of a bustling brothel run by Madame Desdemona (Sofia Vergara). As the prostitutes prepare for their night ahead, Machete requests an audience with Cereza, only to be met with resistance from the cunning brothel owner. A tense standoff ensues before Machete makes his escape, taking Cereza with him as they flee into the night.

As they wait at the dock for their ride to see Mendez, Cereza reveals her connection to the infamous leader - she is none other than Madame Desdemona's daughter. The two set off on a speedboat, joined by Zaror (Marko Zaror) and a pair of revolutionaries. Their journey takes them to Mendez's lair, where they board a helicopter for an aerial assault on their enemies. But just as they think they have reached the endgame, Zaror's betrayal strikes, and Cereza meets her untimely demise at his hand. Machete is left reeling from the sudden turn of events, realizing that nothing is as it seems in this treacherous game of cat and mouse.

As the helicopter thunders into Mendez's lair, a maniacal maestro awaits, flanked by an ominous missile standing tall in the center of the room. The trigger, cleverly wired to his very lifeblood, ensures that if he meets his maker, the missile will unleash its deadly payload. It becomes clear that only two individuals possess the knowledge necessary to defuse this doomsday device: a doctor now lying lifeless at Machete's hands and a third party, conveniently situated on the other side of the continent. With time running out - Mendez having triggered his own countdown by pulling the chest-mounted trigger - Machete seizes Mendez and embarks on a brutal battle against the henchmen, utilizing his trusty triple-bladed machete to carve a path to freedom, leaving a trail of destruction in Zaror's stomach as he makes his escape. As the clock ticks away, Machete subdues Mendez, commandeers the helicopter, and answers a call from Miss S.A., only to inform her that the missile's trigger is tied to Mendez's very heartbeat. With this revelation, Machete sets his sights on tracking down the mysterious figure responsible for supplying Mendez with the deadly technology, a trail that leads him to Voz Tech.

As the helicopter soars over the open waters, two revolutionaries on a speedboat attempt to take aim at Machete. He leaps from the chopper, grappling hook in hand, and lands aboard the boat. With swift efficiency, he dispatches one rebel while trading blows with another. Securing the grappling hook, he shoots it towards the helicopter, ensnaring Mendez as the aircraft explodes behind them. The speedboat careens towards the dock, but Machete is prepared. He fills the vessel's gas tank to capacity and leaps off with Mendez mere moments before the boat flips, crashes, and decimates the waiting revolutionaries.

On dry land, Machete deposits Mendez, who suddenly divests himself of his erratic persona, speaking in hushed tones as if awakening from a trance. As Machete breaks the news that Mendez had ordered Cereza's execution, the man's expression contorts with anguish, and he appears oblivious to the impending doom tied to his very existence.

In a Mexican radio station, a menacing figure bursts in, dictating an ominous announcement to be broadcast over the airwaves: a bounty of over $20 million has been placed on the heads of Machete and Mendez, offering a hefty reward to anyone who can eliminate them. This chilling declaration is picked up by Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), as well as Doakes and Clebourne, Machete's allies. Meanwhile, in a distant Mexican town, a mysterious individual (Walton Goggins) saunters into a local watering hole, requesting a martini but being met with a stern refusal from the bartender. The stranger settles for chango instead, revealing his true identity as El Camaleon, a notorious assassin known for his ability to change his appearance at will. As he sips his drink, he dispatches the bartender and two patrons before donning a new disguise (Cuba Gooding, Jr.). Upon receiving news of the hit on Machete, he sets out to wreak havoc, claiming the life of a tourist couple and commandeering their vehicle.

As tensions simmer in Mexico City, Machete and Mendez find themselves in a precarious situation at a popular eatery. Recognized by the patrons, who are secretly plotting against them, they're forced to confront Chepo (Julio Oscar Mechoso), a zealous cop hell-bent on capturing Mendez, whom he deems "loco" ("crazy" in Spanish). The taunt proves too much for Mendez's fragile psyche, sending him into a violent rampage that culminates with Machete being forced to intervene. In the ensuing chaos, Machete takes out Chepo and makes his escape, only to find himself surrounded by police. With no choice but to act decisively, he whisks Mendez away, exacting brutal revenge on the restaurant's patrons before igniting a devastating explosion that reduces the establishment to ashes.

In the midst of this carnage, Desdemona (Lorene) presides over her brothel with an iron fist, dispensing cruel justice to a bound captive who dares challenge her authority. Her vitriolic monologue reveals a deep-seated hatred for men, born from the traumatic experiences of childhood abuse at the hands of her father. As she prepares for battle, one of her loyal prostitutes, KillJoy (Alexa Vega), apprises her of the hit on Machete. In response, Desdemona dons an intimidating machine gun bra, ready to take on whatever dangers lie ahead.

Simultaneously, El Camaleon (Gooding) pays a visit to a local garage, seeking directions to Villa Guerrera, where he's been told Machete can be found. When the attendant proves unable to provide the information, our enigmatic assassin dispatches him with ruthless efficiency. As he surveys his surroundings, he notices a surveillance camera that has captured his true appearance. With a cold calculation, he destroys the device and sheds his male persona, transforming into a stunning woman (Lady Gaga).

As Machete tends to Mendez's wound at the clinic, they unwittingly attract attention from a prostitute who alerts Desdemona and her cohorts. Machete, anticipating trouble, resorts to unconventional measures by heating blood bags in the microwave, unleashing a chaotic spray that sends the prostitutes scurrying for cover. Desdemona retaliates with her infamous machine gun bra, but Machete's quick reflexes allow him to evade her hail of bullets. He seizes an opportunity to disarm her, using a defibrillator to send her flying across the room. With Mendez safely in tow once more, they make their escape.

Their next stop is a local shop, where they hope to acquire a reliable vehicle for their journey. However, fate has other plans as a willing informant tips off a group of ruthless assassins, who descend upon the scene with calculated precision. Machete's resourcefulness proves invaluable as he disables the informant's oxygen tank, inadvertently pushing his wheelchair into the assassins' line of fire. The ensuing chaos allows our duo to slip away and commandeer an armored vehicle, speeding them closer to their destination.

As they near the border, Mendez confides in Machete about his troubled past - a former secret agent determined to purge corruption from Mexico's government, only to be betrayed by his own supervisor, resulting in the brutal murder of his family. His descent into madness led him to form an alliance with the missile vendor, setting the stage for their desperate quest.

With mere hours remaining before the fateful missile launch, Machete and Mendez must navigate the treacherous landscape, pursued by Desdemona's relentless posse and the cunning El Camaleon (Gaga). Machete takes matters into his own hands, secretly sabotaging Desdemona's vehicle to trigger a devastating explosion that sends her and her cohorts fleeing. This setback forces El Camaleon to collide with the stranded vehicle, sending their car careening out of control. As Desdemona departs, defeated and demoralized, Machete proves once again that he is the master of his own destiny.

As Machete (Danny Trejo) navigates the treacherous terrain of the border wall, Mendez (Wagner Moura) intercepts him to reveal a hidden passage with vibrant graffiti that leads to a tunnel. With the U.S. beckoning, they burst forth into the underground world, only to be met by the unyielding gaze of Doakes and Clebourne. The latter's gun is aimed squarely at Machete's head when Mendez seizes the opportunity to disarm their pursuer, slicing through Doakes' hand with his trusty blade before delivering a crushing blow that silences him permanently. Clebourne doesn't fare much better, as Mendez dispatches him with a single bullet to the skull.

But their brief respite from danger is short-lived, as a new wave of masked men - eerily reminiscent of those Machete encountered earlier - descends upon the scene. Among them stands the notorious Zaror (Cheech Marin), whose ruthless decapitation of Mendez sends shockwaves through the air. As the other masked figures swarm around him, unloading bullet after bullet into Machete's torso, the legendary hitman finds himself facing a grueling test of strength and cunning.

Meanwhile, amidst this chaos, a brief but jarring interruption comes in the form of a campaign advertisement touting the re-election bid of none other than Senator Rathcock. As his smooth-talking narrator proclaims "Winning was only the beginning," the viewer is left to ponder the stark juxtaposition between the brutal realities unfolding above ground and the calculated spin being peddled below.

As Machete stirs to life in the serene pool of Voz Tech Industries, he finds himself face-to-face with the gruesome remnants of Mendez's severed head, a grim testament to the ruthless efficiency of Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), the enigmatic president who stands over him. The sinister CEO holds aloft a jar containing the still-beating heart of his latest victim, as the countdown to the missile's launch ticked away with ominous precision. With Machete secured in a futuristic healing pod, Voz presents himself as a visionary, having glimpsed the apocalyptic future that will soon unfold. His solution? A rocket-bound escape plan for him and willing accomplices, leaving behind a trail of genetically engineered super soldiers designed to serve his purposes.

As Machete seizes upon any nearby weapon, he unleashes a fury of violence against the Zaror clones, Voz's mechanical minions, leaving them in a heap of destruction. The president himself is impressed by Machete's prowess, but it only precedes a chilling revelation: Voz has manipulated world leaders into acquiring missiles, aiming to launch a catastrophic global assault.

With one of Voz's own weapons at his disposal, Machete makes a break for freedom, pursued by the president's goons in their sleek, futuristic vehicles. However, his trusty molecule disabler proves more than a match for his pursuers, reducing them to dust with a single blast. As Machete dispatches the remaining henchmen with a showstopping display of aerial acrobatics, courtesy of a hook and helicopter blades, he finds himself in the company of Luz, whose Network is comprised of resourceful rebels fighting against an unseen threat.

Luz's news about the mysterious abductions of Mexican laborers resonates deeply with Machete, who shares his concerns about the impending missile launch. Her promise to connect him with someone who can disarm the weapon comes with a caveat: it's none other than Osiris (Tom Savini), the troubled hitman who had previously crossed paths with Machete by taking the life of Padre (Cheech Marin). Osiris seeks redemption, haunted by his past actions.

Meanwhile, Miss S.A. reaches out to Machete, requesting a meeting at a high-stakes swimsuit competition, an event that will surely cloud his judgment given their complicated history. Luz, aware of this tangled web, cautions Machete against getting too close, warning him that his emotions may be the very thing Voz is counting on to bring about chaos.

As Machete (Danny Trejo) converges with Miss S.A. at a clandestine meeting, he finds himself surrounded by an unlikely entourage consisting of Luz, Osiris, and Tito, who trails closely behind. But just as Machete's trust is being rekindled, Miss S.A. betrays him with a duplicitous proposal, offering to transport him back to Voz in exchange for helping her claim the title of Miss Texas. The offer is met with a hail of gunfire as Voz's henchmen clash with Machete's cohorts. In the ensuing chaos, Tito falls victim to the crossfire, and Machete finds himself clinging to the roof of a speeding car, only to be brutally dislodged by one of the villains.

Machete awakens in the scorching desert, his body battered and bruised, but his spirit undeterred. As he begins to trudge through the arid landscape, he's unexpectedly picked up by a truck driver (Antonio Banderas) whose proficiency in Spanish is as unsteady as it is amusing. The driver, none other than El Camaleon, reveals his true identity just as Machete starts to struggle with his awkward pronunciation. In a stunning display of chameleonic cunning, El Camaleon was able to hail the previous truck driver before donning yet another disguise. As he deposits Machete onto the side of the road, El Camaleon's plan is foiled when Machete escapes and digs up a hidden tunnel, allowing him to flee into the darkness.

Meanwhile, El Camaleon is met with a brutal demise as he's cut down by a group of xenophobic border patrol agents. In a stroke of good fortune, Machete finds himself in the company of Luz's allies, who whisk him away to their hideout. As the clock ticks perilously close to Voz's plan to launch his apocalyptic missile, Luz gathers her forces to prepare for an all-out assault on the villainous mastermind.

As the countdown reaches its final minutes, Machete, Luz, and the Network infiltrate a decadent party hosted by Voz Tech Industries, disguising themselves as waitstaff. The festivities are about to be upended when Voz reveals his sinister plan to launch a spacecraft carrying the world's most extravagant outfits into orbit, leaving his guests in a state of bewildered wonder. Machete seizes the opportunity to expose Voz's true intentions, triggering a maelstrom of gunfire as the Network and Voz's henchmen clash in a desperate bid for survival. Amidst the chaos, Machete gives chase to Voz, while Miss S.A. unleashes a hail of bullets that claim Luz's remaining eye and decimate the remnants of the Network.

As Machete and Osiris converge on the heart, Osiris' hesitation ultimately proves fatal. Voz bursts onto the scene, rendering the device inert by firing it out of commission with mere minutes to spare before the impending launch. In a bold move, Osiris intercepts Voz's molecule disabler, sacrificing himself in a bid for redemption. Machete, meanwhile, stumbles upon a luchador mask, which serves as a stark reminder that Voz was the one responsible for Sartana's demise. The revelation sparks a heated exchange between Machete and Voz, with the latter conceding that Machete's involvement has disrupted his psychic abilities, rendering his future visions increasingly murky.

The two engage in a fierce duel, their bladed weapons clashing in a flurry of steel and sparks. Voz gains the upper hand, leaving Machete on the brink of defeat before he cleverly deploys a flamethrower to scorch Voz's face, forever altering his disfigured visage. As Voz stumbles into another room, Machete finds solace in the familiar contours of the silver mask that had previously been glimpsed in a fake trailer. Coincidentally, Luz, now blind and driven by desperation, faces off against Miss S.A., her adversary's attempts to throw her crown at her proving futile as Luz expertly deflects it with her own crown, striking her heart with precision before delivering the finishing blow.

As Machete hastens to prevent the missile launch, Voz successfully rounds up the party guests and the Network, along with the abducted laborers, and ushers them onto his rocket. He also takes the opportunity to freeze Luz in carbonite, a gesture that only serves to enrage her further as she flips him off in defiance. The missile, now piloted by Machete, falls into a river just as Voz's rocket blasts off into space.

President Rathcock and his entourage subsequently locate Machete, who is hailed for his heroics in saving the world. The president queries Machete about Voz's whereabouts, prompting him to point skyward. Rathcock, undeterred by this revelation, presents Machete with a new mission: to venture into space and apprehend Voz, setting the stage for "Machete Kills Again...In Space!" A final shot depicts Machete suiting up in astronaut attire, preparing to board the rocket that will carry him to his ultimate showdown against Voz.

The scene concludes with Desdemona and her girls preparing to face off against Machete once more, their rivalry serving as a tantalizing precursor to the impending conflict. As the credits roll, we are left with a cliffhanger: the masked Voz holding a blade at Luz's neck, poised to strike before the camera cuts back to Rathcock, who approvingly nods in Machete's direction.

As the cameras roll, a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the camaraderie among the cast reveals a lighthearted moment between Michelle Rodriguez and Amber Heard. In an outtake that showcases their ease with each other, Rodriguez playfully engages in a good-natured "pussy-punching" exchange with Heard, who responds with warm laughter. This candid display of friendship serves as a refreshing respite from the high-stakes action unfolding on screen. Meanwhile, back in the midst of the intergalactic chaos, President Rathcock (character not specified) takes his rightful place at the helm of his spacecraft, unleashing a barrage of awe-inspiring firepower that solidifies his reputation as a fearless leader in the face of celestial threats. As the battle rages on, Rathcock's unwavering confidence and mastery of his impressive arsenal leave no doubt about his ability to protect his people and safeguard the future of humanity.