What Is Up the Chastity Belt About?
The premise of Up the Chastity Belt in 302 words, with nothing given away. The full story follows below.
In a delightfully absurd kingdom where medieval pageantry collides with bawdy market stalls, the road to Custard Castle is a ribbon of bustling life and cheeky commerce. The air hums with the clink of battered chastity belts and the hiss of racy love‑potions, sold by a spirited serf whose mischief is as legendary as the castle’s looming stone walls.
Lurkalot is that serf—quick‑witted, inventive, and forever ready with a grin and a gadget for any situation. Serving the timid yet good‑natured Sir Coward de Custard, he spends his days haggling in the bustling marketplace, turning everyday items into comical contraptions while keeping a playful eye on the townsfolk. His relationship with his master is a study in contrast: the lord’s cautious diplomacy balances the serf’s brazen optimism, and together they form an unlikely partnership that keeps the village’s rhythm lively and unpredictable.
The fragile peace of the realm is jolted when the brutish Sir Graggart de Bombast rides in, his sights set on looting the castle and winning the fair Lobelia Custard for himself. His swagger and ambition threaten to upend the delicate equilibrium that the villagers have grown accustomed to, turning the market’s chatter into whispered concern. As the threat looms, Lurkalot finds himself thrust into the role of unlikely protector, called upon to rally his fellow townspeople and stand beside his master against the encroaching menace.
The film unfolds with a tone that blends slapstick comedy, sharp innuendo, and a lovingly absurd take on chivalric tropes. Its world is a kaleidoscope of colorfully exaggerated characters, witty dialogue, and an irreverent spirit that keeps the audience guessing which ridiculous scheme will surface next. Within this mischievous tapestry, Lurkalot’s journey promises a rollicking adventure that celebrates the power of humor, loyalty, and the unexpected heroism found in the most unlikely of places.
What Happens in Up the Chastity Belt?
The complete story of Up the Chastity Belt, from the first scene to the last, in 738 words (about 3 minutes). Spoilers throughout.
Spoilers ahead
Two royal births set the stage for a wild, comic epic: Lurkalot [Frankie Howerd] and Richard the Lionheart [Frankie Howerd] arrive in a realm ruled by eccentric nobles and roving fate. But danger arrives early when the ambitious Sir Braggart de Bombast [Bill Fraser] and his faction abduct young Lurkalot and dump him in a forest to die. Fate takes a strange turn when a pig-owning family connected to Sir Coward de Custard [Graham Crowden] rescues him, and Lurkalot’s life becomes a curious mix of serfdom, makeshift invention, and village hustle. In this unlikely upbringing, Lurkalot hawks love potions, chastity belts, and odd contraptions to a village that’s more amused than impressed, while the mysterious voices that haunt him night after night try to whisper hints about his true identity, only to be drowned out by lightning and the bustle of everyday life.
As the grown brothers drift toward destiny, Richard—the more weary of the two—grows restless with the burden of rulership and embarks on a crusade that is less about conquest and more about escape from courtly boredom. Meanwhile, Sir Braggart de Bombast, seething with pride, covets Sir Coward’s lands and daughter and makes a tempting, arrogant offer that Coward politely declines. The taunting ends in a banquet, where Braggart refuses to toast Prince John, insultingly triggering a duel the victor would prize as Lady Lobelia [Anne Aston]—the daughter of Coward—as the trophy. Lurkalot, who stands outside the knightly order, steps forward as the “Man with no name,” and defeats Braggart’s champion, Sir Grumbel de Grunt [David Prowse], with an odd assist from a giant magnet. The duel is declared void, and war is proclaimed, sending Lurkalot and the captured Lady Lobelia fleeing to his workshop, where she is kept for protection behind a chastity belt.
Sir Coward, reeling from the escalation, deserts to join the crusades, leaving Lurkalot to follow the whispered guidance of his strange voices. The two converge on the Holy Land, where the crusades unfold into something closer to a bacchanal than a holy mission. Scheherazade [Eartha Kitt] remains a steadfast presence in Richard’s life as he pursues his own passions, while Lurkalot, ever inventive, repurposes unused weaponry to fashion more chastity belts and relishes the odd liberation of the women there, who push back in defiance. Richard’s escapades, and his bond with Scheherazade, push Lurkalot toward a moment of decisive action back home: he discovers that the crusade’s gloss hides a different motive, and the idea of justice begins to tilt toward reclaiming his own fate.
Back in Europe, Richard encounters a local woman in Germany and decides to settle there, jokingly tossing the crown to Lurkalot with a wish that he can be him if he looks the part. Lurkalot returns to his village to rally the people, but the moment of recognition—an old flying contraption among the escapees—lands him in trouble, and he’s accused of witchcraft. Ducking the mob, he is saved by Robin Hood [Hugh Paddick], who joins forces with Sir Coward, now emboldened by a new hookah-fueled resolve, to strike back at Braggart’s forces.
Conspiracies lead to another gamble: Richard flees England after an ignoble episode with his German lover, then returns only to encounter his twin guise in the eyes of the village, who mistake him for Lurkalot. A daring castle plot unfolds as Sir Coward feigns illness to slip inside with Lurkalot. The two become inseparable in a farcical twist of medicine, smoke, and improvised explosives—the so-called “gone powder” that bursts a door open and lets Robin Hood rally the assault. The castle siege crescendos in a duel between Sir Braggart and Lurkalot, where the truth is finally laid bare: Braggart is Richard’s twin brother, and the brothers’ fateful confrontation sweeps across the halls in a chaotic, comic melee. Braggart flees, disgraced, and Richard resumes his rule.
In the aftermath, order returns to the realm: Richard agrees to marry Lady Lobelia, and Lurkalot is knighted, stepping into a higher role while Lobelia’s affection remains a lively, undeniable spark. Richard’s return to Scheherazade marks a new balance between duty and desire, while Lurkalot, now a trusted knight, finds a place among the legends of the land. The kingdom settles into a curious harmony—frivolous yet affectionate, reckless yet hopeful—where two unlikely brothers, a clever serf-turned-innovator, and a cast of larger-than-life characters navigate a world that never quite behaves, but somehow keeps turning toward a brighter, if absurd, future.
Up the Chastity Belt Timeline: Every Key Event in Order
12 key events in the order they happen, from “Birth and abduction of Lurkalot” to “Resolution: knighthood and departure”. 12 events name a place, across 12 locations.
- 1
Birth and abduction of Lurkalot
Eleanor of Aquitaine gives birth to twin sons, Lurkalot and Richard. The nobles abduct Lurkalot and abandon him in a forest to die. He is found and raised by a pig-loving family who belong to Sir Coward de Custard, who takes him in as a serf.
When:Birth and infancy Where:England countryside forest
- 2
Whispers and workshop beginnings
Lurkalot is visited by strange voices that try to tell him who he really is, but their messages are drowned out by events like lightning. He grows up in the village, aiding his master by selling love potions and chastity belts as well as some unusual inventions. The voices hint at destiny, but the world keeps him busy with everyday tasks.
When:Childhood Where:Coward's village
- 3
Richard's restlessness and plan for crusade
All grown up, Richard is bored of ruling England and decides to go on a crusade. Lurkalot remains with Sir Coward, living a double life away from the limelight. This setup foreshadows a clash of destinies between the twins.
When:Adulthood Where:England
- 4
The banquet duel begins
Sir Braggart de Bombast challenges Coward by offering his lands and daughter; Coward refuses to toast Prince John but hosts a banquet to avoid offense. Braggart declares a duel and Lurkalot, though not a knight, steps in as the 'Man with no name' and defeats Braggart's champion Sir Grumbell de Grunt with the aid of a giant magnet. The victory triggers further conflict as chivalry rules are not met.
When:Banquet confrontation Where:Castle hall
- 5
Duel voided and war declared; Lobelia locked away
Because the duel does not meet the rules of chivalry, Braggart voids it and declares war. Lurkalot and Lady Lobelia flee to Coward's workshop, where she is locked up with a chastity belt to protect her. The stage is set for a turbulent confrontation.
When:After duel Where:Castle grounds; Coward's workshop
- 6
Coward joins the crusades; Lurkalot seeks both Coward and Richard
Sir Coward answers the call to crusades and flees the English scene. Lurkalot, encouraged by the spirits that visit him, sets out to find both Coward and Richard the Lionheart. The quest pulls him toward the Holy Land and toward revelations about his own identity.
When:Crusade era Where:England to Holy Land
- 7
Holy Land revelations
In the Holy Land, the so-called crusades prove to be a Bacchanalian orgy, an excuse for men to leave their families behind. Saladin appears as a friend to a crusader, and the whole enterprise becomes a web of deception and indulgence. Richard resists leaving the Holy Land only to pursue erotic adventures with Scheherazade.
When:Early Holy Land stay Where:Holy Land
- 8
Chastity belts and a feminist strike
Lurkalot recycles unused weaponry into chastity belts under the inspiration of his whispering voices. He brings feminism to Saladin's women, who go on strike and challenge the status quo. The upheaval disrupts the crusading mission, forcing Richard to consider returning home.
When:Holy Land stay Where:Saladin's encampment
- 9
Germany and crown swap
In Germany, Richard meets a local woman and decides to stay with her. He casually tosses Lurkalot the crown, suggesting Lurkalot could be him. Lurkalot returns home to rally the people but is recognized as Lurkalot and accused of witchcraft after his earlier escape using a flying machine.
When:Post Holy Land Where:Germany; Lurkalot's village in England
- 10
Duck, burn, and Robin Hood
Lurkalot is ducked and sentenced to death by burning, but Robin Hood rescues him from the firing squad. They plan an attack on Braggart and are joined by Sir Coward, who is inspired to fight back. The alliance strengthens as the confrontation with Braggart approaches.
When:Following rescue Where:Castle; Robin Hood's hideout
- 11
Castle siege and Braggart's reveal
Sir Braggart duels Lurkalot and reveals that he must be Richard's twin brother. The duel rages across the castle until Braggart is defeated and flees in disgrace. Richard resumes governance and prepares to marry Lady Lobelia, while Lurkalot is honored as a knight.
When:Final battle Where:Castle
- 12
Resolution: knighthood and departure
Richard resumes rule and agrees to marry Lady Lobelia, while Lurkalot is knighted and granted Lobelia's hand. However, Lurkalot ends up with Lady Lobelia, and Richard returns to Scheherazade, leaving the realm in a new balance.
When:End Where:England; Scheherazade
Who Are the Main Characters in Up the Chastity Belt?
9 characters, among them Lurkalot (Frankie Howerd), Richard the Lionheart (Frankie Howerd) and Sir Coward de Custard (Graham Crowden): who each one is and the part they play in the story. Every profile links to the actor’s page.
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Lurkalot (Frankie Howerd)
Played by Frankie Howerd
Raised by a pig-owning family after being abandoned by Sir Braggart, Lurkalot becomes a clever, resourceful schemer who sells love potions, chastity belts, and odd inventions to survive in a world of bumbling nobles. He is haunted by mysterious voices that nudge him toward his true identity and destiny. His wit and improvisation help him navigate duels and political schemes, while his unassuming nature belies a surprising impact.
- 🗡️ Clever
- 🧪 Inventive
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Richard the Lionheart (Frankie Howerd)
Played by Frankie Howerd
The English king who is bored with rule and yearns for a crusade. His adventures in the Holy Land mingle romance, scheming, and a bizarre pursuit of physical experiences with Scheherazade, blurring the line between kingly duty and libertine whim. His return to England is entangled with family and political drama.
- 🗡️ Noble
- 🧭 Rebellious
- SC
Sir Coward de Custard (Graham Crowden)
Played by Graham Crowden
A not-so-successful noble who takes Lurkalot in as a serf and battles withdrawal symptoms when forced by circumstances to seek remedies. He is more concerned with his lands, daughter Lobelia, and his own comfort than with honor. His escapades drive much of the farce and set up the climactic battles.
- 🏰 Noble
- 😒 Comedic
- 🪶 Frail
- LL
Lady Lobelia (Anne Aston)
Played by Anne Aston
Daughter of Sir Coward and prize sought by Braggart, Lobelia is a pivotal figure who becomes part of the court intrigue and romantic intrigues. She finds herself caught between power plays and Lurkalot’s strange charisma, eventually facing a choice about love and allegiance.
- 👑 Noblewoman
- 💃 Prize
- SB
Sir Braggart de Bombast (Bill Fraser)
Played by Bill Fraser
The unscrupulous noble who aims to seize Sir Coward’s lands and Lobelia, challenging Coward to a duel to gain his prize. He embodies arrogance and bluster, and his schemes catalyze the war and eventual downfall.
- ⚔️ Villain
- 🧠 Schemer
- SG
Sir Grumbel de Grunt (David Prowse)
Played by David Prowse
Braggart’s formidable champion, defeated by Lurkalot’s clever use of a magnet and wit. His presence heightens the mock-heroic tone of the battles and the satire of knightly prowess.
- 🗡️ Warrior
- 🧩 Trickster
- RH
Robin Hood (Hugh Paddick)
Played by Hugh Paddick
A benefactor in the siege who rescues Lurkalot from danger and helps mount an assault against Braggart. His role blends mythic folk-hero vibes with a comedic, pragmatic edge.
- 🧭 Hero
- 🏹 Outlaw
- S(
Scheherazade (Eartha Kitt)
Played by Eartha Kitt
A mysterious influence in Richard’s life who visits the Holy Land and shares intimate and exotic conversations. She is linked to Richard’s sexual escapades and the Kama Sutra-inspired pursuits that punctuate the journey.
- 💃 Temptress
- 🌀 Allure
- TA
The Archbishop of All England (Godfrey Winn)
Played by Godfrey Winn
A powerful cleric figure who grounds or complicates political plots, lending a further layer of satire to the period’s religious and political dynamics.
- 🙏 Authority
- 🧭 Influence
Where and When Is Up the Chastity Belt Set?
Up the Chastity Belt is set in England, Holy Land and Germany (Late 12th century). Here is why the time and place matter to the story.
When
Late 12th century
The action unfolds during the Crusades era, centering on Richard the Lionheart and his campaigns in the Holy Land. Feudal politics, knightly rivalry, and festive excess frame the plot as a satire of medieval life.
Where
England, Holy Land, Germany
Set across medieval England, with key sequences in the Holy Land and in a German castle, the film uses a lighthearted, irreverent lens on chivalry. The settings bounce between royal courts, bustling village markets, and a Crusades-era camp that doubles as a bacchanal. The locations are treated as colorful backdrops for farce, intrigue, and the invention of ridiculous devices.
- 🗺️ Medieval
- 🏰 Castles
- 🗡️ Satire
What Are the Themes of Up the Chastity Belt?
3 ideas the story keeps returning to, among them Identity, Chivalry Satire and Feminism & Power.
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01
Identity
Lurkalot's hidden origins and the twin twist with Richard drive the plot, turning personal discovery into comic pursuit. Mysterious night voices and a mashup of myth and invention push him toward his destined role. The story treats identity as a malleable, humorous construct within a feudal world.
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02
Chivalry Satire
The knightly code is lampooned through bungled duels, magical props, and exaggerated bravado. Lurkalot and allies improvise weapons and schemes, poking fun at romance, honor, and battlefield glory. The result is a lighthearted critique of medieval bravado wrapped in farce.
-
03
Feminism & Power
Lobelia and Saladin's women influence events, challenging patriarchal norms through resistance and agency. The film reassigns power dynamics, showing female characters seizing opportunities amid chaotic politics. Humour arises from the tension between traditional roles and sudden acts of empowerment.
What Kind of Film Is Up the Chastity Belt?
Whimsical in tone, with fast pacing and a moderate story, going by the plot summary.
- Tone
- Whimsical
- Pacing
- Fast
- Story
- Moderate
- Intensity
- Medium
- Ending
- Happy
A cheeky, fast-paced, and absurd medieval farce that feels like a playful romp through a parody of chivalric tales, driven by slapstick, double entendres, and an ever-inventive underdog hero.
- silly
- playful
- farce
- cheeky
- irreverent
- escapist
- mistaken identity
- medieval parody
- class rebellion
- knightly duel
Quiz
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