Top Gear: The Perfect Road Trip 2013

Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson embark on the ultimate Venice-to-Pau road trip, turning a simple journey into a rolling study of pace, handling, and personality behind the wheel. Each leg of the course is a chance to prove which machine best captures the spirit of a grand tour, and which driver can coax the most out of it. The pair trade blows and banter as they pick a vehicle to match the road, the scenery, and the mood of the moment, all while chasing a missing sense of perfection on four wheels.

Jeremy kicks off with the Mercedes SLS AMG, a machine built for raw presence and torque, while Hammond counters with the Ferrari F12. The numbers tell a tale: the Merc delivers about 622 horsepower, but the Ferrari roars ahead with roughly 730 horsepower. The Ferrari’s double-clutch gearbox, tuned to a Ferrari computer, is said to deliver a surge of power with each gear shift, and its sculpted body aims to squeeze every ounce of downforce from the wind. In contrast, the SLS is presented as a driver’s hammer, engineered to unleash raw power and torque, with the engineers’ latest refinements nudging top speed and acceleration higher even as the torque edge is trimmed by about 11 units.

On a detour through the Italian lakes, twisty roads reveal how quickly the Ferrari can feel overwhelming on tighter bends, and the pace starts to show its limits. In the overnight break, Hammond and Jeremy compare the Ferrari’s options list, hashing out the costs and the allure of high-end choices. The morning brings new speed runs and a new destination: Monza, the hallowed track. Here, Hammond selects the Pagani Viara while Jeremy goes for the Porsche Cayenne S. The Pagani is presented as a weapon of refinement, while the Porsche is pitched as a balanced platform for speed and precision.

The Pagani is described as a rarified machine, with interiors crafted from aluminum and a gear shaft built from many components. The Porsche, by contrast, is said to offer a more adaptable driving experience, though its seats are noted to be somewhat cramped. On the track, Hammond posts a 2:15, while the car is driven by The Stig to a 2:13 on the Porsche, underscoring a tension between raw pace and driver finesse.

As Monza gives way to the French Riviera, the duo switch up again. Jeremy reaches for the hot hatch, selecting the VW Golf GTI—a 2.0L turbocharged car delivering about 220 horsepower, with a front differential that helps navigate tight corners with confidence. Hammond counters by calling the Golf an all-rounder, a practical choice that comes with a clear sense of compromise, while noting the Ford Fiesta ST as another hatchback’s pure essence.

Monte Carlo marks a glamour shift, where the vibe of the place clashes with the cars they bring. They swap rides: Hammond goes for a blistering Lamborghini Aventador Roadster while Jeremy goes for the Bugatti Veyron with its 8.0L quad-cam heart and a top speed around 251 mph. Monte Carlo’s snobbery — valet paranoia and a notorious car-spotting culture — leads to a cheeky plan: arrive in a 1914 Model T Ford to prove a point about cluttered valets and the lengths these guys will go to keep their cars out of the back lots.

Moving along the French Riviera, Hammond selects the Jaguar E-Type (1962 Series 1) roadster, a classic with its 3.8L inline-six, while Jeremy counters with the faster, more contemporary Jaguar F-Type V8. The price tag of Jeremy’s pick — around £86,000 — is acknowledged as a modern contrast to the E-Type’s timeless lines. Lunch on the coast leads to a seaside stroll and a moment of refusal from Hammond to eat octopus, before the pair resume their race toward St Tropez with a topless-beach interlude.

A spur-of-the-metropolis race to St Tropez becomes a lighthearted challenge: the loser must wear a cheeky “I love James May” T-shirt the following day. Hammond shifts to a motorcycle, the Ducati Diavel (1,200 cc, 162 BHP), while Jeremy opts for a speedboat, a 32L twin-turbo V12 craft. The speed contest ends with Jeremy once again ahead, and Hammond punished by the fashion of the T-shirt.

For the next leg, the two end up in the same car choice — a convertible Bentley — which makes their St Tropez circuit look almost playful, even as valet drama reappears when the Bentley is towed briefly, only returned after a couple of hours. The experience leaves a lingering sense of over-the-top luxury and the awkwardness of arriving in something that might be “too much” for the moment.

The French rally stretch adds another twist: Hammond insists on rally driving in a convertible, taking a Nissan 350Z (3.5L V6, 276 BHP) while Jeremy picks a BMW convertible (2.5L inline-6, 192 BHP). They modify both cars into rally spec machines, and Jeremy’s playful disdain for rallying surfaces as he bets Hammond they’ll quit and head back if he wins. A shortcut cuts the lap time to 28 seconds, compared to Hammond’s 1:17, ratcheting up the competitive tension.

The final leg to Pau sees a shift in taste: Jeremy climbs into a V12 Aston Martin Vanquish, while Hammond chooses a Porsche 991 with longer, wider lines than the previous 911 and, for the first time, an electric steering assist. The 991 proves to be a letdown for Hammond, while the Vanquish excites Jeremy with its smooth power and refinement.

In Pau, the cars are swapped for a last, decisive race: Hammond selects the Porsche 911 GT3, and Jeremy goes for the single-seat VAC Inono. Before they can reach Pau, a run-in with the French police for driving without permits forces them to rethink their plan, and the duo ends up back in London seeking ride-sharing and lifts rather than a celebratory finish.

The trip, filled with bold choices, dramatic accelerations, and the signature banter that fans expect, becomes a showcase of how each vehicle and each driver approach a road trip as a living test — of performance, of temperament, and of what it means to chase the “perfect” journey on four wheels.