What Is My Father and I About?
The premise of My Father and I in 277 words, with nothing given away. The full story follows below.
In the wake of a sudden loss, Xiao Yu—a teenage girl raised in the bustling rhythm of Beijing— finds herself drawn back to the quiet streets of her hometown. The absence of her mother leaves a palpable void, and the invitation to live with her birth father, a man she has barely come to know, becomes both a refuge and a source of uncertainty. The film opens with a tender, almost reverent portrayal of grief, setting a mood that balances quiet melancholy with the subtle hope of new beginnings.
Lao Yu, the father who steps into the role of guardian, carries his own set of contradictions. He is a figure marked by habits and choices that have kept him at a distance, yet his desire to protect and provide begins to surface in small, unassuming moments. Their shared household becomes a stage where ordinary domestic rituals—cooking meals, quiet conversations over tea, the creak of an old house—offer chances for connection. The atmosphere is intimate, allowing the audience to feel the tentative steps each takes toward understanding one another.
As the days unfold, the film invites viewers into a world where the everyday is imbued with emotional resonance. The cityscape outside the home contrasts with the inner landscape of two people learning to navigate loss, trust, and the complexities of familial ties. Through understated humor, lingering glances, and quiet gestures, Xiao Yu and Lao Yu gradually lower their walls, discovering that acceptance often grows from the simple act of being present for each other. The tone remains gentle yet honest, promising a story of healing that hinges on the ordinary moments that bind a father and his daughter.
What Happens in My Father and I?
The complete story of My Father and I, from the first scene to the last, in 271 words (about 1 minute). Spoilers throughout. Names in the text link to 3 cast member pages.
Spoilers ahead
Jing Xu Jinglei is a Beijing teenager who is suddenly left without a mother after a traffic accident. Jing’s mother Su Xiaoming is part of the past that casts a shadow over her present. Her father, Lao Yu Daying Ye, with whom she has had little contact, becomes her guardian. He is unsure how to navigate fatherhood, and his flaws—gambling, small-time black market deals, and long nights at a bar with other men who live similar lives—shape their early years together. This unstable dynamic culminates in his arrest and time in prison, a rupture that forces Jing to navigate life largely on her own.
During his absence, Jing graduates from high school and begins university, and she starts living with her boyfriend, a hot-tempered student from Hunan. When Lao Yu is released, their relationship grows tense, his past neglect weighing on Jing, and his worries about her living arrangement adding strain. She and her boyfriend leave Beijing for Shanghai, where Jing becomes pregnant. When the relationship doesn’t work out, she returns to Beijing to live with her father, who supports her through the pregnancy and helps raise the child. Yet Lao Yu never fully reforms and continues to sneak out at night to gamble.
One night, his friends barge into the game, pretending to be police; the stress triggers a stroke, leaving him unable to care for himself. Jing steps into a caregiver role, nursing him at home while tending to the baby, clinging to hope for his recovery. But the stroke proves permanent, and the family must navigate a new, quieter reality where love, duty, and memory struggle to coexist.
My Father and I Timeline: Every Key Event in Order
12 key events in the order they happen, from “Mother dies in a traffic accident” to “Nursing and death”. 12 events name a place, across 3 locations.
- 1
Mother dies in a traffic accident
Xiao Yu's mother dies in a traffic accident, leaving her to face life without a parent. The tragedy happens in Beijing and reshapes Xiao Yu's early years as she copes with loss.
When:Beijing, shortly after the accident Where:Beijing
- 2
Lao Yu becomes guardian
Her father Lao Yu takes on the role of legal guardian after her mother's death, though he is unsure how to act in this new duty. Over time, their bond deepens from distant to affectionate, as they learn to rely on each other. This shift marks the beginning of a fragile father-daughter relationship.
When:Beijing, in the immediate aftermath Where:Beijing
- 3
Lao Yu's risky lifestyle emerges
Despite his role as guardian, Lao Yu shows that he is not dependable, spending much time gambling and engaging in small-time black market dealings. He frequently visits bars and keeps company with men who lead similar lives. This lifestyle foreshadows upcoming trouble.
When:Beijing, during the early guardian years Where:Beijing
- 4
Lao Yu is arrested and imprisoned
His risky lifestyle culminates in an arrest, sending him to prison for a period. The imprisonment marks a turning point in Xiao Yu's life as she grows up without her father nearby.
When:During Lao Yu's imprisonment Where:Beijing
- 5
Xiao Yu completes high school and begins university
While her father serves time, Xiao Yu completes high school and begins university studies. She also starts living with her boyfriend, a hot-tempered student from Hunan, as part of her independent life.
When:Beijing, during Lao Yu's imprisonment Where:Beijing
- 6
Lao Yu is released; relationship strained
When Lao Yu is released, he returns to a strained relationship with his daughter, who resents his absence and dependability. He also worries about her living arrangements with her boyfriend, creating tension between them.
When:After Lao Yu's release Where:Beijing
- 7
Xiao Yu and her boyfriend move to Shanghai; pregnancy
Xiao Yu and her boyfriend leave Beijing for Shanghai, where she becomes pregnant. The move signals a new chapter and potential stability that is soon challenged by romance and career choices.
When:Shanghai, after moving from Beijing Where:Shanghai
- 8
Return to Beijing; pregnancy supported by father
When the relationship with her boyfriend does not work out, she returns to Beijing to live with her father. He supports her through the pregnancy and helps raise their child, anchoring her during a difficult period.
When:Beijing, upon returning during pregnancy Where:Beijing
- 9
Birth of the child; father by her side
She gives birth to her child, with her father by her side. Lao Yu continues to cope with his own flaws while caring for and guiding his granddaughter.
When:Around the birth Where:Beijing
- 10
Lao Yu continues gambling
Despite the birth and family responsibilities, Lao Yu frequently sneaks out at night to gamble. His impulses threaten to destabilize the fragile family he has helped to build.
When:Post-birth period Where:Beijing
- 11
The prank triggers Lao Yu's stroke
One night, Lao Yu's friends crash a gambling game by pretending to be police, causing intense stress. The incident triggers a stroke that leaves him unable to care for himself.
When:Beijing, during a gambling night Where:Beijing (home)
- 12
Nursing and death
Xiao Yu nurses him at home while caring for the baby, hoping for recovery. In the end, his condition does not improve, and he dies.
When:After the stroke Where:Beijing
Who Are the Main Characters in My Father and I?
2 characters, among them Xiao Yu and Lao Yu (Daying Ye): who each one is and the part they play in the story. 1 of them link to the actor’s page.
- XY
Xiao Yu
Xiao Yu is a Beijing teenager who, after a family crisis, becomes her father’s guardian while navigating love, independence, and motherhood. She experiences a shift from high school to university life, then moves to Shanghai with her boyfriend, only to return when relationships falter and she discovers she’s pregnant. She ultimately bears the burden of raising a child while supporting her father as his health declines. Her journey is marked by resilience and a redefined sense of family.
- 👧 Teen
- 🏠 Family dynamics
- 👶 Pregnancy
- LY
Lao Yu (Daying Ye)
Played by Daying Ye
Lao Yu is a flawed but capable father who gambles, runs small-time deals, and spends nights at the bar, straining his relationship with Xiao Yu. His arrest and subsequent absence push Xiao Yu to grow up quickly, while his stroke at a night-time prank leaves him dependent and unable to care for himself. Despite his faults, he shows moments of care and a yearning to protect his daughter and grandchild, even as he struggles with recovery.
- 💔 Family conflicts
- 🎲 Gambling
- 🏥 Illness and care
Where and When Is My Father and I Set?
My Father and I is set in Beijing and Shanghai. Here is why the place matters to the story.
Where
Beijing, Shanghai
Beijing is the starting hub of the story, a sprawling metropolis where Xiao Yu grows up and her family faces upheaval. Shanghai appears as a later setting for Xiao Yu’s life as she pursues independence and experiences a pregnancy away from home. The two cities form a backdrop of urban life, contrasting tradition with modern choices that shape the characters' paths.
- 🏙️ Beijing
- 🗺️ Shanghai
What Are the Themes of My Father and I?
3 ideas the story keeps returning to, among them Family Bonds, Resilience and Responsibility.
-
01
Family Bonds
The film centers on the evolving relationship between Xiao Yu and her father, showing how love and duty can grow from a fraught past. It explores the patience, care, and small acts of support that solidify a fragile guardian-daughter connection. Their bond strengthens as they face responsibilities together, including raising a child.
-
02
Resilience
Both characters endure hardship: a sudden parental absence, teenage pregnancy, and the strain of financial and emotional instability. They adapt with quiet courage, learning to navigate uncertainty while holding onto hope for a better future. The story emphasizes how resilience takes shape through everyday acts of caregiving.
-
03
Responsibility
The couple of generations confront the consequences of choices—gambling, risky routines, and failed independence—forcing them to reassess what family means. The narrative shows how responsibility shifts from defiance to protective care, especially as the daughter becomes a mother. It also questions whether redemption is possible through consistent, everyday acts.
What Kind of Film Is My Father and I?
Melancholic in tone, with steady pacing and a moderate story, going by the plot summary.
- Tone
- Melancholic
- Pacing
- Steady
- Story
- Moderate
- Intensity
- Medium
- Ending
- Bittersweet
A steady-paced, melancholic drama following the difficult but tender reconciliation of a daughter and her flawed father over decades, marked by loss, hardship, and a quiet, resigned affection.
- melancholic
- grieving
- strained
- resigned
- tender
- reflective
- grief and loss
- father-daughter relationship
- parenthood
- personal flaws
Content notes: parental death, imprisonment, serious illness.
Quiz
How well do you remember My Father and I? Test yourself on the story.
