The Longest Yard 2005

Paul Crewe, a once-famed NFL quarterback, finds himself at the center of rumors about point shaving. Adam Sandler brings this flawed yet charismatic figure to life as Crewe, who after a night of heavy drinking at a party steals Lena’s Bentley and accelerates into a high-speed pursuit through San Diego, ending in a crash that costs him his freedom. His probation is revoked, and he is sentenced to three years in prison.

Rather than sending him to a California facility, Crewe is transported to Texas thanks to the influence of Warden Hazen, a football-obsessed official who hopes to boost the prison’s reputation to aid his future bid for State Governor. To bend Crewe to his will, Hazen uses threats and confinement in a hot box to coerce him into helping the guards’ football team. The team is led by the brutal Captain Knauer, Burt Reynolds in the role.

Crewe proposes a tune-up game and is pressured into forming an inmate squad to face the guards. He teams up with Caretaker, Chris Rock, and the two set out to build a competitive unit from a group of wary inmates. They are joined by Nate Scarborough, a former college football star who volunteers to coach the team by gathering a tougher, more intimidating roster. The squad begins to cohere as Deacon Moss, a skilled but initially reluctant leader among the black inmates, resists playing alongside Crewe due to past tensions. After witnessing Crewe hold his own in a one-on-one basketball matchup against Moss, Earl Megget, a quick and powerful running back, joins the cause. Soon Deacon and his gang are drawn in as well, boosting the team’s speed and depth.

Hazen and the guards throw up obstacles at every turn, from flooding the field to sabotage attempts, yet Crewe and his growing team press on. Unger, a wary inmate who spies on the inmates’ activities, is pressured by the guards and rigs Crewe’s radio with an explosive. Caretaker, unaware of the danger, enters the cell to deliver a photo gift to Crewe but is killed when he tries to adjust the radio dial.

Game day arrives, and the inmates display a new-found resolve energized by Caretaker’s memory. Thanks to Caretaker’s connections, the inmates receive quality uniforms and gear from Reebok, and the team adopts the name Mean Machine. Crewe stresses that winning the game is more than a score—losing to the guards would stain the guards’ pride more than any brutality they could endure. The guards start strong, and the referees call dubious penalties against the inmates, which Crewe counters by a bold, humorous display that unsettles the officials. By halftime, the Mean Machines manage to tie the game.

At the break Hazen confronts Crewe, threatening to reveal Caretaker’s murder and to extend Crewe’s sentence unless he deliberately throws the game. In the second half, Crewe pretends to concede and the inmates fall behind, and the guards unleash brutal injuries on the team. The inmates initially refuse to help Crewe, leaving him to face sack after sack, but on a crucial fourth and long, Crewe scrambles to pick up a first down on his own. He reveals that he threw the earlier game to cover debts owed to “worse people,” and he pledges to stay with the inmates and honor Caretaker’s memory. The Mean Machine rally, and a decisive two-point conversion seals a one-point victory for the inmates.

Knauer congratulates Crewe on the victory, while Hazen chastises the coach for winning a fixed game. Hazen orders Crewe shot as he heads for the exit, but Knauer hesitates, realizing Crewe is simply picking up the game ball. Hazen’s wrath erupts as Deacon and Battle dump Gatorade on him, and Crewe and Scarborough depart to uncover Unger’s whereabouts so Switowski can deal with the troublemaker.

“stick it in [his] trophy case”