Scary Movie 5 2013

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan team up to create a wild sex tape, featuring over 20 cameras capturing their every move beside Charlie’s bed. This time-lapsed footage hilariously fast-forwards through their outrageous bedroom antics, which range from gymnastics to horseback riding, and even includes clowns making surprise appearances under the sheets. The chaos escalates when Charlie is suddenly lifted by a paranormal force, causing him to crash into walls and furniture before he flops back onto the bed. In a moment of fright, Lindsay attempts to leave but ends up airborne as well, becoming possessed and fatally throwing Charlie into the camera.

The aftermath reveals that Charlie’s body was discovered, though he continued to party for several days afterward, while his three children mysteriously went missing, and Lindsay was arrested once more. Fast forward several months, Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller find themselves in the Humboldt County woods, on a quest to stealthily acquire cannabis plants. After a successful heist, they take refuge in a cabin, only to encounter three peculiar creatures—later identified as Charlie’s feral kids. They decide to cash in on the reward for the children’s return.

These children are subsequently placed in isolation at a child development research facility for some time before being returned to family custody. When Charlie’s brother, Dan Sanders, and his wife Jody come to collect the kids, they learn they can take them home—but only if they agree to live in a suburban house equipped with security cameras. Though initially hesitant, Jody soon starts to adapt to their new family dynamics. In an effort to bond with the children, Jody auditions for a ballet performance of Swan Lake and earns the role of the Swan Queen.

However, an unsettling series of paranormal occurrences in their new home compels them to dig deeper. The children reveal that the disturbances are the work of “Mama,” their cursed mother, who is desperately trying to reclaim them to sacrifice herself and her offspring. Their live-in maid, Maria, who is both frightened and resourceful, tries multiple rituals—both Catholic and other traditions—to dispel the dark forces at play. Meanwhile, Dan grapples with the underwhelming results of his primate intelligence research, blissfully unaware that one of his subjects, a chimpanzee named Caesar, has become significantly smarter than him.

As Jody, Dan, and Jody’s friend Kendra rush to lift the curse looming over their family, they consult a psychic named Blaine Fulda, who turns out to be a complete charlatan, and a dream extractor named Dom Kolb. He helps them navigate the cryptic clues in the Book of the Dead. However, they remain oblivious to the dire consequences of their actions, which include unintentionally resurrecting five friends who become possessed in their cabin. Chaos ensues as they mistakenly read passages from the book—one which summons demons, quoting > “gort klaatu barada nikto,” and another that restores the possessed.

In a climactic confrontation, “Mama” takes the children to a cliff, intent on carrying out her sinister plan. Although Jody struggles with the book’s power, she manages to push the evil spirit into Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller’s pool—where a live shark promptly devours her, ensuring a humorous twist. Ultimately, Jody recognizes that her genuine love for her adopted kids is paramount in her life, deciding to let Kendra take her place as the Swan Queen. Kendra’s dance performance, infused with a cheeky, provocative flair, earns thunderous applause from the audience, including Jody, Dan, the children, and Madea.

In a surprising twist, the narrator of the tale is revealed to be Caesar, who shares a profound message about humanity’s time on earth and foreshadows that apes may one day rule the world. During a post-credit scene, Charlie awakens from a dream extraction, with Dom Kolb by his side. After Kolb teasingly informs him that he will be sleeping with Lindsay Lohan again, a car crashes into the room, tragically claiming Charlie’s life. As Lindsay stepping out and sarcastically declaring to Kolb, “You were driving,” throws him the car keys, it leaves audiences in fits of laughter.