P’tang, Yang, Kipperbang 1982

Alan Duckworth, known as ‘Quack Quack’ to his friends, is a socially awkward fourteen-year-old who is obsessed with cricket and fixated on a girl in his class, Ann Lawton. He shuffles through school with chronic lateness and limited progress, his days punctuated by rich daydreams that drift on the steady commentary of cricket broadcaster John Arlott.

His imagination is fed by dreams of heroic deeds and a post-war future that never quite materializes, and his real life is colored by a quiet, hopeful longing to share a kiss with Ann despite their different circles at school. His closest real-world companion is the groundsman Tommy, whom he adores as a wartime hero, even though Tommy’s presence tends to embarrass him in front of others.

Behind the hero-worship, a troubling truth begins to surface: Tommy’s stories about fighting at Dunkirk, El Alamein, the Battle of the Bulge, and Burma are not true. In fact, Tommy deserts from the army shortly after he is called up, a revelation that gradually undermines the myths Alan has built around his idol and reshapes how he sees courage, loyalty, and the costs of telling stories.

At the same time, Miss Land faces a personal dilemma when she suspects she might be pregnant by Tommy, a secret that could force her to resign from her English teaching post. She is also navigating the lingering attention of the headmaster, a remnant from the war years that colors their interactions. When a scare turns out to be a false alarm, the pair realize they are still drawn to each other, complicating the social web around the school.

As for Alan, his friends largely talk about “the other thing”—sex—while he quietly longs for a kiss with Ann. A ripe opportunity arises when Miss Land casts him and his classmate in a school play, and in the final scene the pair are required to share a kiss. That moment becomes a test of courage and a quiet turning point for a boy who has spent so long in the shadow of his fantasies.

The story unfolds with a gentle humor and a patient curiosity about adolescence, weaving together friendship, longing, and the gap between what people pretend to be and what they actually are. Set against a post-war British backdrop, it observes how imagination can both illuminate and complicate a young life as it edges toward adulthood. The film remains intimate and observant, never rushing its characters through moments that feel true to their age, while letting small acts of honesty and connection carry the day.