Iti Mrinalini 2011

Mrinalini, an ageing actress, Aparna Sen writes a suicide note. As a performer, the first lesson she learned was timing — the perfect moment for an entrance or an exit on stage. On the stage of life, her entrance was outside her control, but she plans to choose her exit.

Before taking the sleeping pills she has ready, she decides to destroy her memorabilia — letters, photographs, newspaper cuttings, knick-knacks — in case they fall into the hands of the press. She was a focus of media attention all her life and wishes to be spared this, as much as possible, at her death. The act of erasing the tangible traces of a public life becomes a careful, almost ritual decision, a way to reclaim a measure of privacy in the face of an enduring spotlight.

As she looks through the relics from her past, she remembers incidents that she had forgotten or had suppressed. Through these memories, she relives her love life, friendships and betrayals, successes and failures, accidents and awards — a mosaic of moments that shaped who she became. Each memento pulls at a memory, nudging her to confront joys and hurts long buried, painting a richer, more textured portrait of a life lived in front of cameras and critics alike.

As Mrinalini relives her past, night gradually turns to dawn. An azaan (Islamic call to prayer) starts up in the distance. Slowly, early morning light fills the room. The moment has passed and the death she had wished for so intensely no longer seems a priority. Her German Shepherd comes and rubs its head on its mistress’s feet and asks to be let out. Mrinalini tears up the suicide note and takes her dog out for a walk. On the street, she meets morning walkers, joggers, and a group of school children.

A young man runs past her. He seems to be escaping from something. Mrinalini thinks that she recognizes him; he resembles her first boyfriend, from her college days. Maybe he’s a thief, or a gangster. Then a gunshot is heard. Everyone on the street is startled. Mrinalini stands still, shocked. The young man who resembled her first love checks himself. He is safe, but Mrinalini has been hit in the back. He runs off as she collapses on the ground.