Diplomaniacs 1933

Willy Nilly, [Bert Wheeler], and Hercules Grub, [Robert Woolsey], are barbers with barely any customers, operating out of a shop perched on an Indian reservation where an opening caption notes that the Indians do not grow facial hair. The tribe, newly rich from oil drilling, hires them to represent their Nation at a peace conference in Switzerland. Unbeknownst to the duo, an armaments manufacturer, [Louis Calhern] as Winkelreid, bent on ensuring the talks fail, schemes with the help of Wise Gai Chow-Chow, [Hugh Herbert], to derail the mission by pulling the right strings. They recruit a vamp, Dolores, played by [Marjorie White], to distract Willy and Hercules and steal their secret documents.

The journey begins with a delay: the captain of their steamship gets drunk and steers wildly off course, stretching the mission by eight months. In Europe, Winkelreid is joined by four directors of the firm and heads to a dive bar, the Dead Rat, where they hire a second femme fatale, Fifi, [Phyllis Barry]. Once in Geneva, Willy and Hercules find the peace conference delegates at each other’s throats and try to soothe the crowd with vaudeville routines. After a break between acts, Winkelreid bombs the delegates’ chamber, and when the pair return, they find everyone in blackface. In response, they too don blackface and sing a minstrel spiritual about peace.

Wise Gai Chow-Chow gives up and returns to China in a rowboat. Winkelreid and the four directors forge a letter from the prime ministers of the world powers promising to end all war and slip it under the hotel room door of Willy and Hercules; one director then drops a sample bullet, which explodes and vaporizes the four directors and Winkelreid, leaving only their shoes and hats behind.

Elated, Willy and Hercules return to the reservation by airplane; as they fly, the world leaders, furious that their names were forged onto a peace treaty, ignite a new world war. When they finally land, expecting a heroes’ welcome, they instead find themselves drafted into the army to fight in the conflict they never intended to spark.