The Washingtonians 2007

Mike Franks [Johnathon Schaech] discovers a strange letter hidden behind a portrait of George Washington while sorting through his recently deceased grandmother’s belongings. The letter, signed “G. W.” and accompanied by a fork that appears to be made from bone, reads with a chilling threat:

I will skin your children and eat them. Upon finishing, I shall fashion utensils out of their bones.

This eerie find follows the grandmother’s funeral, when her longtime friend Samuel Madison III [Myron Natwick] tries to persuade Mike to hand over the letter. Mike refuses, and soon a fanatical group of patriots—grimy in wooden teeth, powdered wigs, and Revolutionary War attire—begins to shadow the family, escalating to attempted break-ins and menacing stares at the house. The danger peaks as the intruders press their demands, only to be scared off when Mike calls the police.

Seeking answers, Mike reaches out to Professor Harkinson, who explains the existence of the so‑called Washingtonians and the idea that history has been crafted to hide the truth. They discuss a shocking claim—that George Washington engaged in cannibalism and that Benjamin Franklin is a composite figure drawn from several other men. Before long, the Washingtonians strike again, and in a brutal twist, they abduct Mike, his wife Pam [Venus Terzo], and their daughter Amy [Julia Tortolano], transporting them to Mount Vernon, the home associated with the killer President.

The truth behind the Washingtonians is laid bare in a grand, opulent dining room where Mike and his family are forced to witness a table crowded with Washingtonians feasting on a mutilated human body. The revelation of their leader’s secrets shakes them, but relief may come in time: Harkinson and a team of FBI agents burst in and systematically eliminate the rest of the Washingtonians. Harkinson returns the letter to Mike and urges him to make the truth known to the world.

In the epilogue, set six months later, the Franks have adopted vegetarianism as a new normal, and civilization is jolted by a startling reversal: Washington’s visage on the United States one-dollar bill is replaced with that of George W. Bush.