Carry On Girls 1973

Fircombe, a breezy seaside town, is trapped in a downpour of rain and a dwindling tourist crowd. To splash some life back onto the pier, Councillor Sidney Fiddler pitches a bold plan: a glittering beauty contest that could bring the sun back to the boardwalk. The idea excites the mayor, Frederick Bumble, but it provokes a furious backlash from feminist Councillor Augusta Prodworthy, who storms out in protest. Yet the motion passes in her absence, and Sidney brings in publicity ace Peter Potter to spin the event into a sensation.

Connie Philpotts, the hotel’s tireless manager, keeps a taut ship running on the windy stretch of Fircombe’s shoreline. Her guests—ranging from the peculiar Mrs. Dukes to the swaggering Admiral—are soon surrounded by a growing lineup of would-be models, including the pint-sized but energetic Dawn Brakes and the statuesque, confident Hope Springs. A catfight staged by Hope after Dawn is accused of stealing her bikini makes for front-page copy, far more than a donkey-off-the-beach stunt could ever muster, and the hotel porter, William, badgers the plush carpets with muddy footprints as the spectacle unfolds.

Sidney’s publicity plan kicks into high gear when his son, Larry Prodworthy, is hired to document the donkey stunt and the escalating backstage drama. The catfight culminates in the Mayor’s trousers tumbling to the ground, followed by a risqué nude photo shoot featuring Dawn that strains the town’s sense of propriety and decency. Meanwhile, the Mayor’s wife, Mildred Bumble, joins Augusta’s bra-burning faction and schemes to derail the Miss Fircombe contest on the pier, turning the event into a high-stakes political theatre.

Behind the scenes, [Peter Potter] crosses into the realm of publicity again—this time donning a disguise for a publicity gimmick on the TV program Women’s Things, hosted by [Cecil Gaybody] and produced by Debra. The production becomes a microcosm of the town’s upheaval, with Prodworthy and Rosemary pressing police to scrutinize the male pageant, while Paula—Paula, once Peter’s prim girlfriend—undergoes a glamorous makeover and steps forward as the dazzling, elusive rival in the final round.

As the sabotage plan, codenamed Operation Spoilsport, moves into action, water, mud, and itching powder rain down on the contestants. The final contest devolves into chaos as an angry crowd closes in, and Sidney makes a break for it on a go-kart. Connie discovers the prize money is gone and, in a twist of fortune, dashes off with Hope on a motorcycle, leaving the town to wrestle with the fallout of a publicity stunt that spiraled far beyond anyone’s original intention.

In the end, Fircombe’s beauty pageant becomes less about pageantry and more a satirical showcase of vanity, power, and the messy consequences of public hype. The rain keeps falling, the pier glows under headlights and cameras, and the townsfolk realize that fame, for all its glitter, often brushes against scandal, exposing the fragility of pretenses as the seaside town tries to reclaim its charm and its footing in the aftermath of a stormy publicity spree.