All Over the Guy 2001

The film unfolds primarily through flashbacks, as Eli (Dan Bucatinsky) shares his story with Esther (Doris Roberts), an HIV clinic worker, while anxiously awaiting his test results. Meanwhile, Tom (Richard Ruccolo) recounts his experiences to a fellow attendee at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Coming from very different backgrounds, Tom is the child of emotionally detached, alcoholic WASP parents who never embraced his sexual orientation, leading him to become a heavy drinker and engage in fleeting encounters with various men. In contrast, Eli has Jewish psychiatrist parents who encouraged emotional openness but inadvertently raised him to be quite neurotic.

Their journey begins when their mutual friends, Jackie (Sasha Alexander) and Brett (Adam Goldberg), orchestrate a blind date, convinced they would be the perfect couple. Both men are on a quest for “The One,” yet they fail to recognize it when it stares them in the face. The date is primarily dull until Tom launches into a hilarious critique of the film In & Out. Fate intervenes when they coincidentally cross paths at a flea market, leading to a spontaneous connection that culminates in a sleepover at Eli’s apartment. However, the morning after, Tom dismisses the encounter as a mistake.

Determined to facilitate their connection, Jackie and Brett make another attempt to set them up, allowing Tom and Eli to explore a budding relationship. However, Tom’s fear of emotional intimacy, coupled with Eli’s own insecurities, complicates their bond. As Jackie and Brett get engaged, it brings Tom and Eli closer, yet they mask their apprehensions with trivial disputes over grammar and pronunciation. Ultimately, they break through this superficial discord and share a passionate night together. Eli confesses his love for Tom, who, caught off guard, reacts defensively and distances himself the following day.

The flashbacks culminate on the day of Jackie and Brett’s wedding. In this pivotal moment, Esther instructs Eli on the importance of being more attuned to Tom’s emotional requirements. Tensions escalate when a fellow AA member attempts to assault Tom, prompting him to confide in Jackie, who reprimands him for pushing Eli away when they were beginning to connect deeply. At the wedding reception, both Eli and Tom come to the realization that they must confront the dysfunction within their families and their own inner fears if they hope to salvage their relationship.