Starting Over (1979) Plot Summary & Timeline

In the bustling streets of New York City, we meet Phil Potter, portrayed by Burt Reynolds, a freelance magazine writer who finds himself entangled in personal turmoil as he attempts to reconnect with his estranged wife, Jessica, played by Candice Bergen. Unfortunately for Phil, Jessica is resolute in her desire for a divorce, eagerly seeking a new chapter in her life as an aspiring singer-songwriter. With only a single suitcase in tow, Phil leaves the life he once knew and relocates to Boston, Massachusetts, where his supportive brother, Michael “Mickey” Potter, portrayed by Charles Durning, resides.

Mickey, a compassionate psychiatrist, encourages Phil to join a local support group designed for divorced men, while his wife, Marva, played by Frances Sternhagen, assures Phil that the end of his marriage could symbolize a thrilling new beginning. Despite their encouragement, Phil finds himself too engulfed in sadness and reluctance to embrace such positive perspectives.

After settling into an apartment, Phil tries to create a semblance of home, yet he remains haunted by a longing for companionship. On one of his walks to Mickey’s house for dinner, an unexpected encounter with a skittish and defensive woman, Marilyn Holmberg, portrayed by Jill Clayburgh, leads to confusion and embarrassment. Initially believing Phil is following her, she lashes out before escaping, only to be later introduced to him at dinner by Mickey. Despite the awkward start, Phil is intrigued by Marilyn and requests a date, yet her hesitance stems from her wariness towards recently divorced men.

As their paths intertwine, Phil learns that his divorce is official, and he takes the brave step of joining the support group. With the anticipation of a first date in nearly a decade, he meets an overeager woman named Marie, which turns out to be an uncomfortable experience. Returning home from this failed outing, he boldly reaches out to Marilyn and convinces her to dine with him. The chemistry between them flourishes over the following weeks as they both navigate the intricacies of their new relationship. Despite this blossoming connection, Phil confesses to the support group about his reluctance to take his relationship with Marilyn further, hinting that he may still be emotionally tethered to his past.

On a fateful evening, Phil surprises Marilyn at her apartment and expresses a desire for intimacy, leading to a night spent together. Yet, when he leaves at dawn, Marilyn becomes upset, declaring she is not a “one-night stand,” but Phil reassures her and seeks to nurture their relationship. As the days progress, he finds himself confronting his fears and embarks on a new career teaching college students about magazine writing.

During a heartfelt Thanksgiving dinner with Mickey and Marva, Marilyn answers a call from Jessica, which leads to a breathtaking moment of awkwardness. Overhearing Phil’s conversation with his ex-wife, Marilyn feels uncomfortable and leaves the gathering distraught. Phil’s explanation for his sudden nervousness—his guilt from talking to Jessica—only further complicates their relationship. Despite enjoying the most meaningful connection of his life, Marilyn remains uncertain, sensing that Phil’s feelings may still linger for his former wife.

The turning point comes when Phil approaches Marilyn during a charity fair where she volunteers. Aware that their relationship needs clarity following the earlier misunderstandings, he asks her to move in with him, an invitation she accepts with a mix of excitement and trepidation. On the brink of their new life together, Marilyn crafts a “Welcome Home Hotstuff” banner to celebrate their first night as cohabitants. However, their domestic bliss takes an unexpected turn when Phil returns home to discover Marilyn in the company of Jessica.

Jessica’s unannounced visit adds tension as she attempts to rekindle their romance while donning a sexy blouse and insinuating her desire for reconciliation. Though tempted, Phil recognizes that the connection he shares with Marilyn is far more profound, ultimately leading him to decline Jessica’s advances. Following this defining moment, he confesses during a support group meeting that he battled urges to reunite with Jessica—despite feeling a stronger bond with Marilyn.

As their relationship reaches new depths, Phil experiences stress and anxiety when he tries to resume interactions with Jessica, culminating in a breakdown at a department store. Soon after, he is faced with the reality that he may have to choose between old ties and new beginnings, ultimately pushing Marilyn away in a moment of confusion and fear.

Months later, with his heart now returning to Boston, Phil discovers that Marilyn has moved forward with her own life, dating John Morganson, a professional basketball player for the Boston Celtics. Undeterred, Phil purveys the ideal couch she once desired, wanting to reconcile his past and embrace a future with her. Dressed festively as Santa Claus for the season, he approaches her nursery school, but is met with resistance as Marilyn drives away with her new boyfriend.

Still desperate, Phil tracks Marilyn down at the Boston Garden During a practice session, catching her off guard. He expresses his unwavering feelings for her and, in a spontaneous moment, he proposes marriage. The shock of the proposal ignites a cascade of emotions in Marilyn as she can no longer suppress her true feelings, leading to an embrace that hints at a fresh start for both of them amidst their tumultuous pasts.