Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972) Plot Summary & Timeline

The film opens with credits rolling over an enchanting scene filled with a multitude of white rabbits, all set to the lively tune of “Let’s Misbehave” by Cole Porter. This colorful backdrop introduces viewers to a series of seven whimsical vignettes, each delving into the absurdities of love, lust, and human desire.

“Do Aphrodisiacs Work?”

Set in the Elizabethan era, the jesting fool, played by Woody Allen, faces wrath from the king (Anthony Quayle), who finds his antics far from amusing. The plot thickens when our fool shadows the queen (Lynn Redgrave) into the gardens and unexpectedly becomes bold. From beyond the grave, the ghost of his father instructs him to pursue the queen. After acquiring an aphrodisiac from a sorcerer, which the sorcerer ominously warns may lead to his demise if discovered by the king, the fool succumbs to temptation and presents it to the queen. After she drinks it, her desires emerge, leading to a ludicrous scenario. Just as the fool tries to unfasten her chastity belt, the approaching guards ignite panic, resulting in a frantic struggle to conceal their compromising position. Ultimately, despite his best efforts, the king uncovers the fool and condemns him to execution.

“What Is Sodomy?”

Meanwhile, in the bustling practice of Dr. Ross, portrayed by Gene Wilder, an extraordinary visit from Armenian shepherd Milos Stavros (Titos Vandis) shocks everyone. Milos confesses his inexplicable love for a sheep he claims is named Daisy. Initially taken aback, Dr. Ross is drawn deeper into bewilderment when Milos reveals that he has already been intimate with her, with the sheep now perceived as distant. The bewilderment only escalates when Milos pleads for the doctor to mediating a conversation with Daisy, leading Ross down an increasingly twisted path of attraction to the very sheep he is meant to counsel. As Ross indulges in this absurd love affair, confusion ensues, stripping him of his family and profession, culminating in a pitiful scene of despair as he grapples with the consequences of his bizarre obsession.

“Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching an Orgasm?”

In an Italian segment, Fabrizio (also portrayed by Woody Allen) faces disheartening intimacy issues with his wife Gina (Louise Lasser). After their marriage, Fabrizio’s expectations of passion are thwarted by Gina’s indifference. Desperation fuels his quest for understanding, leading him to confide in his priest to no avail. One serendipitous day, as they shop, Gina’s unexpected arousal transforms their relationship dynamic, igniting a series of risqué escapades in public venues that push the limits of societal conventions. The couple joyously embraces their newfound spontaneity, though Fabrizio’s fears of discovery loom large.

“Are Transvestites Homosexuals?”

In a humorous twist, Sam (Lou Jacobi) and Tess engage in a dinner with their daughter’s future in-laws. Sam’s compulsion leads him to sneak away and don his future mother-in-law’s dresses, amusingly unaware of the chaos that follows. As the dinner proceeds, the family unwittingly gets embroiled in Sam’s antics, which escalate into a scene of electric tension, culminating when Tess loudly identifies him as her husband. This revelation adds layers of humor and social critique, as Tess expresses her devotion amidst the absurdity of Sam’s multitudes.

“What Are Sex Perverts?”

Transitioning to a scene riddled with innuendo, a game show titled “What’s My Perversion?” thrives on comedic revelations about the bizarre sexual whims of contestants. The show, captivating audiences with its playful yet probing nature, records the speculative guesses of celebrity panelists about a contestant who admits to exposing himself on subways. As witticisms and misunderstandings cascade, the show evolves into a reflection on sexuality’s many forms, revealing the often absurd boundaries of human desire.

“Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?”

In yet another playful scenario, Woody Allen returns as Victor Shakapopulis, a para-scientist embarking on a journey to uncover the bizarre world of sexual research. The ensuing misadventures explore the shocking results of dubious sexual experiments. As an unexpected collaboration with an eccentric Dr. Bernardo (John Carradine) unfolds, Victor and a young reporter, Helen (Heather MacRae), find themselves plunged into the chaotic realm of mad science and absurdity. The culmination of their efforts reveals a narrative that not only parodies scientific methods but critiques the sensationalism surrounding sexual research.

“What Happens During Ejaculation?”

In the final vignette, the storyline culminates inside the mind of a man as operators manage the physiological turmoil leading to ejaculation. An adventurous ride through a mission control-like scenario, where sperm launch in a hilariously choreographed manner, showcases not only an exploration of sexual science but also a humorous commentary on the pressures and expectations surrounding male performance. The delightful satire unfolds as operators race against time, intertwining exuberance with a farcical take on human physiology.

In conclusion, this film interweaves humor, historical references, and societal critiques, while exploring the tangled web of human desire through a comedic lens. Each vignette delivers unique perspectives, ensuring the audience is both entertained and provoked to consider the intricacies of sexuality and interpersonal relationships.