What Planet Are You From?

In a distant realm, a solitary planet is home to an elite society of hyper-evolved males, governed by the enigmatic Graydon. He dispatches one of these beings, dubbed Harold (in a bold stroke), with a mission: infiltrate Earth, locate a female human, and successfully impregnate her before returning to their planet with the newborn.

Harold's terrestrial adventure begins in Phoenix, Arizona, where he adopts the persona of Harold Anderson and secures employment at a local bank. It is here that he crosses paths with Perry Gordon, a womanizing colleague who frequents Alcoholics Anonymous meetings primarily for the social benefits. Harold accompanies Perry to one such gathering, where they meet Susan, a recovering addict still navigating the complexities of sobriety.

Before pursuing his true objective, Harold must first formalize his relationship with Susan by exchanging vows in a Vegas wedding ceremony. As they begin their life together, Susan is surprised to find herself deeply content with her husband's affections, despite the fact that men from his planet are anatomically distinct and Harold has been equipped with a prosthetic penis that emits a distinctive whirring noise whenever he experiences arousal.

However, conceiving a child proves to be a challenging ordeal for the couple. Meanwhile, Roland Jones, an FAA employee who stumbled upon Harold's unusual behavior during a flight, becomes obsessed with uncovering his extraterrestrial identity and claiming the distinction of being the first to do so.

The arrival of their child prompts Harold to abandon Susan and return to his home planet, as dictated by Graydon. However, the pangs of guilt and introspection that accompany this decision ultimately lead him to defy his superior's wishes and restore the child to Susan, confessing the truth behind his actions. Susan is left reeling, torn between outrage, gratitude, and utter incredulity.

In a poignant moment of vulnerability, Harold offers to prove his alien nature, only for Roland to arrive at the scene just as he does so. Instead of embracing Harold's return or forgiving his past transgressions, Susan crumbles into tears, lamenting the realization that she had thought she understood her life until she married an extraterrestrial. With a heavy heart, Harold departs, leaving behind the remnants of their shattered relationship.

As they stepped outside, Harold's encounter with Roland unfolded like a carefully orchestrated revelation. The latter's triumphant smirk betrayed his conviction that he had been correct all along - Harold was an extraterrestrial. With an air of gentle persuasion, Roland coaxed Harold into joining him in confronting his wife, Susan, who had remained skeptical about their intergalactic visitor. Harold acquiesced with a benevolent willingness, but before this confessional could take place, Graydon burst onto the scene, phaser poised to capture the alien.

A tense standoff ensued as Graydon, brandishing his advanced technology, declared he was taking Harold back. Roland, undaunted by Graydon's boasts of invincibility, pulled out his own firearm and fired, striking Graydon with precision in the chest. The leader crumpled into the fountain, defeated.

As the drama dissipated, Susan emerged from the commotion, proposing a truce and urging the couple to "patch things up" after all. With Graydon's lifeless body carried off by Roland, Harold and Susan reaffirmed their vows in a tender ceremony, one that Susan had always envisioned for herself. The ride home proved filled with introspection as Harold confided in his wife about the impending call to leadership on his home planet. Susan, however, was resolute in her decision not to uproot her life and friends, citing the unfamiliarities of the local education system.

Harold reluctantly agreed to make the arduous commute, accepting the compromise that would keep their relationship intact despite the vast distances between them.