Lou Andreas-Salomé, The Audacity to be Free 2018

In 1933, amidst the rise of the Nazis and grappling with her isolation, the celebrated novelist and psychoanalyst Lou Andreas-Salomé finds herself residing in Göttingen, Germany, living a life overshadowed by illness and despair. Everything changes when a 40-year-old publisher, Ernst Pfeiffer, steps into her world, stirring memories of her great love, Rainer Maria Rilke. As Lou begins to open up emotionally once more, Pfeiffer, who admires her deeply, pretends to seek assistance for his marital troubles while subtly hoping to establish a connection with her.

Through a shared journey of reminiscence, he assists her in writing her memoirs, coaxing Lou to relive the vibrant moments that have shaped her existence. Yet, she holds back key parts of her narrative, leaving things unsaid.

Born in St. Petersburg in 1861, Lou was the youngest child among five brothers and the only girl. Her upbringing, though cultured and nurturing, often left her feeling like an outsider. The bond with her strict mother was strong, but it was her father who captured her affection. After losing him at the age of 16, her faith in divinity crumbled, leading her to rebellion against societal norms.

Refusing the confines of the church, she persuades a Dutch minister, Henrik Gillot, to provide her with private philosophical lessons, only to develop deep feelings for him. However, their relationship becomes complicated when he proposes marriage, which prompts Lou to flee St. Petersburg, swearing off romantic entanglements to pursue her intellectual aspirations.

Lou finds solace at the University of Zürich, yet a bout of pneumonia takes her to Rome for recuperation. There, amidst the suffragette’s salon hosted by Malwide Meyersbug, she meets Paul Rée, a friendship blossoming only after Lou declines his marriage proposal. This leads to her introduction to the enigmatic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who perceives Lou as a kindred spirit. Despite a shared unrequited love for her, they craft ambitious plans for a communal intellectual retreat.

However, Lou’s time with Nietzsche is tumultuous due to the interferences of his sister, Elisabeth Nietzsche, who views Lou as a rival to her brother’s affections. Struggling against the jealousy and possessiveness of Rée as they relocate to Berlin, Lou’s literary success surges, while Rée stalls in his career.

Seeking independence, she ultimately accepts a marriage proposal from Friedrich Carl Andreas, a distinguished scholar of Persian literature, under the condition that their union remains unconsummated. Heartbroken, Rée exits her life forever, allowing Lou to immerse herself wholly in her writing. Despite achieving various aspirations, her chronic bronchitis lingers, and she toils incessantly, producing book after book.

When Lou encounters Rainer Maria Rilke—then a little-known poet—she initially underestimates him. However, their relationship evolves, and she finds herself captivated by his persistence, leading her to break her vow against love. Although she feels liberated by her emotions, the relationship remains doomed due to Rilke’s profound psychological struggles, and Lou eventually ends this chapter of her life.

In an attempt to numb her pain, Lou engages in a string of brief romances, leading her to drastic actions that threaten her very existence when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. The narrative shifts to Vienna in 1911, where Lou consults Sigmund Freud and embarks on the psychoanalysis journey, slowly unraveling the long-buried traumas of her youth.

Returning to Göttingen in 1933, Lou’s relationship with Pfeiffer deepens, but complications arise when he challenges her about her troubled marriage. Rejecting his confrontations, she attempts to write her memoir alone, only to contend with failing eyesight. Their bond is later renewed, and together they face the ominous threat of the Gestapo, culminating in the burning of her private diaries. Despite the fear and turmoil, Lou’s memoirs endure, preserving her extraordinary life’s odyssey for posterity.